Musings...By Light of the Moon

Top 10 Foods You Must Buy Organic

2011-12-06T11:32:00.000-08:00

This info is courtesy of Organic Liaison & Kirstie Alley

When you eat organic foods, you reduce the amount of toxins, pesticides and other unhealthy chemicals taken into your body, and you give your body the best fuel it can get to make it function the most effectively. In today’s processed world, it may not be possible to make sure everything you put into your body is organic, but when you’re out grocery shopping, here are the top 10 foods that you absolutely must buy organic. Though the prices on organic foods might steer you in the other direction, your body will thank you for investing in these foods.

Peaches

Peaches are one of the fruits containing the highest amount of pesticides. The thin skin of peaches means that after they’re subjected to pesticides and herbicides, they really sink into the fruit. If you can’t find organic peaches, go for a fruit with a thicker skin instead.

Apples

Everyone knows you’ve got to wash apples thoroughly before you eat them, and most of us realize it’s because of the film of insect-killing poisons that are sprayed on the apples. Assuming you don’t want to eat poison while you’re trying to get healthy, stick to organic apples or thicker-skinned fruits.

Celery

All this time, you probably thought you were doing something good for your body by eating celery, right? Not unless you’ve purchased an organic brand. You read how peaches and apples need to be organic because of their thin skins? Well, celery has no skin. Think about how well it must hold the pesticides. If you’re a celery eater, organic is a must.

Grapes

By now the pattern should be emerging. Any fruit with a thin skin is one you should be eating organic. Organic grapes should be available wherever you buy organic foods, but if you can’t find any, consider some delicious organic blueberries or raspberries instead.

Potatoes

Potatoes look innocent, but not only are they subject to pesticides after harvesting, they can absorb fungicides from the soil as well. Go for the organic version and save yourself from consuming these unwanted chemicals.

Cherries

All cherries are bad when it comes to pesticides, but U.S. cherries are the worst. They have three times as many pesticides as the European brands!

Leafy Greens

Lettuce, arugula, collard greens, spinach and other leafy greens grown conventionally are often contaminated with potent pesticides and herbicides. Even kale, which is known for being a hearty vegetable that doesn’t suffer from pests or diseases, has been found to have high amounts of pesticide residue.

It’s not just fruits and vegetables you need to watch out for. Here are some more types of foods that you absolutely must switch to the organic versions of:

Milk

If the cows you eat are ingesting unwanted chemicals, those chemicals going into their milk too. Organic milk will ensure that your children are getting the healthy benefits of milk like strong bones and teeth, not a glass full of growth hormones.

Peanut Butter

One look at the ingredients list of a standard jar of peanut butter should be enough to have you racing for the organic peanut butter aisle. Standard peanut butter is loaded with refined sugars, fats and pesticides, while organic peanut butter is loaded with... peanuts. Plus, more than 99 percent of peanut farms use fungicides to treat mold and other conventional farm practices. Which would you rather put in your body?

Baby Food

You’re doing a great job making sure the food you eat is healthy. Would you do any less for your baby? Baby food can be full of pesticides and other unwanted chemicals just like grownup food, and these chemicals can be a lot worse for a growing baby. Make sure your child’s baby food is organic and pesticide free.

True Test of Who I am...

2011-11-26T10:39:00.000-08:00

These final tests, in these final hours

Truly testing my strength, and my inner powers.

Power of knowledge, gift of true ‘sight’

Are guiding me well, this late darkened night.

Some fear the truth, but no, not I

For what is the point, of living a lie?

Anger, fear, fanciful fables…

Only consistent authenticity will ever turn tables!

It is human to fear, it is human to doubt

How we HANDLE these feelings, is what gives us clout!

Ego, sloth, and greedy expectations,

Have no place in a life, without limitations.

Magick is power that we study and achieve;

Not found in a candle, but in what we believe.

I walk my talk, every night and day

Following through on all that I say.

For if we don’t commit to live fully and true

Then what do we expect the Divine to then do?

Give and reward unbecoming behavior?

Not make us learn, and still act the savior?

Magick and wisdom are one and the same

A commitment, a path….not just a game.

So as old issues come knocking, and wait at my door

I look them square in the eye, unlike before.

This song has been danced to, I tripped and I fell

I learned lessons the hard way, I detoured through hell

Be who I am, fully without reservation

Do what I must without hesitation…

So if you find fault, and find it too much

I fully understand…wish you well…and good luck.

©Nadia Romanov 2011

My Harvested Lessons

2011-09-25T12:37:00.000-07:00

This past summer was quite a journey for me. I met some of the most amazing people and learned more than I had even hoped to.

It took just a bit of time for all the new info to stir and brew in my mind, before it was ready to be shared as a finished product.

Then ~ as is always the case in life ~ my mind, body, and soul said “STOP! Weeks on overdrive, ambition fueled….time to slow it down to a simmer.” Some of that was about getting some rest, yet more so it was to truly let what had been learned and gathered, and formulated into my vision….it was to let all that simmer, and be RE-ALCHEMIZED into the truest, purest form of ME and what I am to share.

Autumn Equinox just passed, and I was fortunate to spend it with my children, our dearest friends, our cats, home cooked delicacies, laughter, joy, fun, magick, and the truest essence of hearth and home.

It was also a time to get real…solid…grounded…and to harvest the true product of these past many months. There I sat – literally on the tiled floor of my patio – with friends and family – cauldron in the middle – each of us submitting our request to the Universe that we now harvest that which we have worked for, intended, desired, and wished for.

My wishes, my magick is private and sacred but one thing I asked for, I will share. I asked to harvest the TRUE lesson of this past year (the 12 months since last autumn). So much change, loss, gain, lessons learned, skilled honed, authenticity polished….but what was the true essence of it all for me?

Yesterday came and went – a lovely and productive day but with a sense of uneasiness and uncertainty still within.

I asked the right person the right question, he gave the answer that was so clear and poignant, that it made certain conversations, phrases, images, and decisions from the past year shine out in answer.

What was the ‘harvested lesson’…..keep an eye on ALL THREE of my websites (listed below) and Facebook pages….and you will see…and enjoy!

A special thanks to William Brown, Ben Starr, Tara Marino, Delia Blecka, Dorothy Morrison, & Kat von D!

Nadia Romanov - Official Website

By Light of the Moon

New Reality Life Coaching

Footsteps in Time...

2011-07-14T22:32:00.001-07:00

July 15, 2011

I had the privilege of participating in a very special two day event, led by my mentor, shared with a total of 40 amazing women, and vital to my soul.

One of the extraordinary activities that we participated in took place on the beach in beautiful Santa Monica, California. It changed me forever....and inspired this poem which composed itself divinely in my mind as we all walked silently back to Hotel Casa del Mar where our event was elegantly hosted.

I walk barefoot, through the sands of time
Claiming each step - making it mine.
The waves, elegantly, powerfully roll right in
I know it is finally time, for ME to begin.
Clearing time and clearing space
Recognizing and LOVING my own face
Who am I? Why am I? What do I do?
I find that these answers, I always knew.
Speak aloud - be heard so clear
Live with passion ~ your dreams are near.
Fear is my friend - it is a sign
A measure of my will - clear and divine
I look inside and love what I see
Because...
...As it always should have been....it's ALL about ME!

Delayed.....

2011-07-04T18:32:00.000-07:00

SO many plans. I always have so many plans. Plans for the future. Plans for writing projects. Plans for any and every given day of the week.

Then life throws me a curveball – it can be an uncooperative computer, a bad headache, new opportunities, more pressing priorities….you get the idea.

Delays – especially when I delay something – irk me terribly. It is like this domino effect that one little, possibly avoidable decision sets in motion, building to a cumulative backlog that feels insurmountable.

Truth is we can always catch up – and we have to trust the overall process that things work out for the best; that the way we will NOW do the delayed tasks will now be better than had they been done ‘on schedule’.

So here I go….yes AGAIN…catching up!

June raced by me.

My site has been sorely neglected….

Women of Wonder - My amazing interview with author Dorothy Morrison was not posted yet.

Top Shelf – I have not posted a book review since April. Shameful!

Well…once again…I am BACK on track…and with more goodies than ever before!

I have added ‘Eat My Words – Restaurants to Rave About’ (http://bit.ly/kMsJLI ) - returning to my early days as a restaurant critic for local papers. The first review up is Café Cordiale...even if you don’t live in LA, please click on the link for Café Cordiale and enjoy an evening there vicariously through my experience there.

One of my FAVORITE PEOPLE of all time – a mentor, a friend, wise, wicked, witty, and wonderful…author (and SO much more) Dorothy Morrison is featured in ‘Women of Wonder’ (http://bit.ly/m6vpkS) – Please come ‘meet’ Dorothy…you will be so glad you did!

Summer reading has always been an extra cherished activity of mine. This month I will be sharing SEVERAL books. The first is Rinnavation by actress, mother, wife, and entrepreneur Lisa Rinna. Delve into Lisa’s tips for revitalizing your life in all areas – health, beauty, love and more! You can read my review here : http://bit.ly/j21gUl.

Later this month, I will be introducing you all to the fictional novels of Caprice Crane – with three already on my shelf and eagerly awaiting her fourth novel being released this month.

As I said…..I’m backkkkkkkkkkkkkk….if you want more delays….sorry but you’ll have to try the airport!

Michael Jackson - Two Years Later

2011-06-25T16:26:00.000-07:00

I first posted this piece on July 7, 2009 - the day of Michael Jackson's funeral. As today marks the second anniversary of his passing, all of the feelings I about his life - and death - resurfaced and I chose to share them again.

A local Hollywood Entertainment Industry Venue asked me to blog a social commentary as Michael Jackson's Memorial was aired.

Here is what I wrote:

I sit here bawling, heartbroken and bereft as I watch Michael Jackson’s memorial service.
I was a teen in the 80’s and as we all do, have memories to which much of Michael’s music is the soundtrack.
I was not a diehard fan. I had no posters, owned no albums, yet I was moved to dance and sing, laugh and cry with Michael’s music and work. I knew nearly every lyric of nearly every song. For as far from me and as mysterious to me as Michael was, he touched my life. He affected my world. And now – he is gone.
Everyone’s arrival, presence and departure from this world, has meaning and reason.
Michael in all his work – in song, in dance, in movies, on stage, through charitable acts and donations, through friendship, through his very presence in our lives – had much to teach us.
His words called us all into public service as well as private personal reflection. He called us to look at ourselves and examine who we are. He sang ‘Look at the Man in the Mirror’ – see who you are and who you need to be. He encouraged an end to violence, a love of all mankind.
I realize that as much as it is vastly emotional to witness the loss for so many more closely touched by Michael’s passing, and as much as a major part of my own history is about to be laid to rest, I realize what is really the truth about what makes me sad.
I am deeply mourning lost childhoods, lost innocence, foundations carved by parents that mold who we are till the day we die.
I watch a father – Joe Jackson – be comforted – this same father who used to tell Michael that he had a ‘big nose’ and we watched, as a result, Michael whittle away at his appearance not to seek his father’s approval but to whittle away how his father’s words made him feel. While we will never know details, we can see the impact of his childhood as we sat mystified by Michael’s perpetual efforts to live in a never ending childhood – a true Neverland. He was neither juvenile nor immature. He was consciously offering love, fun, comfort, unity, and peace to everyone because he knew so deeply what the lack of all of those essential basics, can do to a person. He never wanted anyone who he could possibly reach – be it with music or money – to ever lack what is the most important ingredient in life – true unconditional love. He was subconsciously trying desperately to find the same for himself.
I watched Michael’s daughter in the last moments of the memorial bravely take the microphone and say how from the moment she was born he was the best father and that he always loved her and she loves him. More proof before our eyes how intrinsic and vital is unconditional love and acceptance in our formative childhood years. She is a lucky girl to be so securely sound in her father’s love despite her current loss. His love will be with her in every moment of her life.
It brings home the magnitude of the importance of how we parent our children…and ourselves.
Renowned poetess, Maya Angelou wrote a poem for Michael which was read today by Queen Latifah. One of the most poignant lines of this beautiful farewell blessing to Michael was: “Now we know that we know nothing”. We constantly seek answers in this life. Some sought answers about the mystifying life of Michael Jackson. Many of us – most of us – but yet still not enough of us seek answers about our own lives. Hoping that answers for the past will bring purpose and possibility for the future. In the finality of death we find the very truth of these words – now we know that we know nothing. Ignoring, justifying, rationalizing away the truth of the past does not build a foundation for our future. At some point – hopefully way prior to when death leaves us no more venues from which to seek answers – we must realize that truly we do know nothing. It is not for us to excuse wrong doings of others to us, but it IS ours to acknowledge our pain, our wounds, and to build our own foundations. Hiding from such realities only handicaps us and leaves us tormented and in pain, as it did Michael.
Despite his anguish and inner demons, Michael embraced his gift and universal love and created beauty and joy, and generously shared it with as many as he could.
Financial guru, Suze Orman commented today via Twitter during MJ’s memorial “I really hope when we are gone, we really can feel all the love that others have for us that perhaps was not expressed when we are alive.” That is a sweet sentiment, but watching the outpouring of love for Michael now that he has passed makes me wonder – were each and every one of these people this adoring of Michael prior to his death? Did they allow speculation of negative facts to cloud their adoration of him? Did they allow the (alleged) negative to negate and erase in their minds all of the positive that Michael gave to each of us and to the world at large? With the finality of his death, could they now freely adore him again, as he was no longer alive to be judged?
Michael always said he wanted to be thought of as a person, not as a personality. He so deeply sought the acceptance of who HE was as a person. He knew and felt the love of his fans and friends and some of his family. Yet that void created by the lack of acceptance, the sadly very narrow and conditional love of his father, persisted in Michael all of his days. He escaped into his music; he escaped into his gift; he escaped in trying to make others happy, to save them from the inner loneliness he himself suffered from.
But even Michael Jackson could not escape.
He changed his appearance and yet inside he was still the same. A loving, amazingly gifted man, whose eyes never changed as the rest of his appearance did; Eyes that were filled with love, hope – and pain.
Brooke Shields mentioned in her eulogy of Michael that a part of what bonded them in mutual understanding and friendship was that they “needed to be an adult too early”. As a result, in his adulthood, Michael still sought the innocence, joy, and love found in childhood.
Doesn’t this make any of us sit up and realize what we must each be doing in our day to day lives? Not ignoring what has been our lives thus far. Nor using a shaky or broken foundation as an excuse to be sad, miserable or unfulfilled in our current lives. Not trying to be what others expect us to be for as Brooke Shields said about comments made regarding her ‘odd couple’ friendship with Michael, “what seems odd on the outside, can be very real on the inside”.
Let Michael’s life teach us by some of the examples he set for us. As the Reverend Al Sharpton remembered Michael – He did not let others decide his boundaries. He never stopped dreaming. He never stopped working to create his dreams for the world. He out-performed the pessimists and naysayers. He out-sang his pain.
Let Michael’s death teach us that we cannot wait; that we don’t have endless time to create the life we want, to be with our loved ones, to make our dreams reality.
“My goal in life is to give to the world what I was lucky to receive; the ecstasy of divine union through my music and my dance”, said Michael many times. He used his gift. He followed his bliss. He found his connection to that which is greater. He knew that indeed – “We ARE the world” – it is in our hands to treat ourselves and others as must be for a peaceful loving existence and humanity. Michael was a man who gave more than he received, always responding to family and friends’ loving statements, “I love you more”. Michael gave to others what he himself never received – unconditional love and acceptance. He truly embodied the quote Brooke recited from childhood classic, The Little Prince: “Eyes are blind, you must look with your heart. What is most important is invisible.”
Maybe I am rambling far off topic as I try to find meaning in such loss and pain.
Does it matter? Be it what we are supposed to do with all life puts before us, or be it a personal exercise that helps us cope with this massive loss in our culture and world – either way let us learn something here.
From his life – use your gifts, use your gifts as YOU feel they should be used, love limitlessly, see beauty and grace in every person, try and try and then try again to heal yourself, don’t take no for an answer, don’t let skin color, childhood, pain, naysayers or above all else fear – stop you – not ever. Your present, and your future depend on what you do NOW, not on your past. The world depends on each of us to love ourselves and each other.
From his death – learn that time may be infinite but OUR time is indeed all too limited, that we get no notice of when it is going to end, and when we get a clue that our time on this earth or with a loved one is coming to a close, it is STILL not enough time, so don’t waste a second. What do you fear more – what keeps you from your dreams now, or forever losing the chance to have those dreams become your reality? Learn that pain and fear can indeed kill you – it can wreck havoc on your physical body, and rob your emotional and spiritual self of sanity and peace.
Don’t live Michael’s life – just be sure to truly and full and authentically live yours.
Above all else – do not die Michael’s death – loved, successful, and yet still in pain and torment.
And Michael – may you now find the peace you always yearned for. Rest in peace…and….We love you MORE.

A Day Missed - and - What is My Legacy?

2011-05-27T10:28:00.000-07:00

Ok, so first I have to apologize. Yesterday was my day to fill in on the blog tour, and it was my honor to have a second ‘appearance’ along this wild Mom Blog adventure we have been on. I got in late, sat down to post my blog and blogger was not so cooperative. When I say not cooperating I mean in the ‘trying to put soaking wet panty hose on an octopus’ level of uncooperative!

I finally stopped trying at 11pm PST, resumed trying at 6am PST today and well a few hours later….here it finally is.

Sorry that yesterday we were all blog-less. Sorry that today I am popping in to add my two cents and then pointing the way to today’s true blogger ….Kelly at Go Go Gadget Zen …. http://gogozen.blogspot.com/

And now…finally…(hopefully) without any further ado… my (day old) blog.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about LEGACY. Looking back in history, it has usually been the father, who has established a business, created an empire….to hand down to his children. Legacy of family name, reputation, status, money, power.

Yet, psychology finds that the mother’s influence is the one most sited for causing the lasting innate legacies of behavioral patterns – be they good or bad.

Maybe I worry over this more being a single mom….any lasting lessons, legacy, inheritance of both the material and the spiritual – lays on my shoulders to create and pass along to my children.

SO I started thinking….Is this part of why I want to build my own business? Maybe, but even if I don’t, my children will grow up, have their own careers, build their own professional paths. Is this why I am so dogmatically strict about being authentic, honest, loyal etc.? Of course those are traits I want deeply ingrained in my children…..still not legacy per se.

What would I want my children to remember most about me? Being tough as nails and surviving a lot? Writing multiple best selling novels? Helping numerous people through spiritual coaching seminars?

That is all lovely BUT….what kept resonating in my heart and head as my true answer….

I want them to remember their mom as the woman who bought a cup of coffee for the valet guy on a freezing, rainy day.

I want them to be proud that the homeless man at the nearby intersection knew to count on me to roll down my window and share a few dollars with him.

I want them to remember volunteering at LA Mission, and donating bags and bags and BAGS of clothing, books, toys….to those who needed it more than us.

I want them to feel the urge to do as I have done, and buy a gift card at Starbucks for the exhausted looking mom a few people behind me in line, who was juggling 3 kids under the age of 5…and needed the TLC of being treated to a cup of coffee, or at the grocery store for the elderly lady who was buying only day old products to still eat within her meager budget.

I want them to remember that their birthdays mattered more to me than any religious holiday, or personal milestone of mine….that I was so blessed to celebrate THEM….their existence and uniqueness.

Hopefully, even if they only hold memories of me as the eccentric writer with too many cats, who drank too much wine, and coffee….that they will find their legacy scribbled in the margins, and in between the lines.

Methods of Aromatherapy

2011-05-20T23:08:00.000-07:00

Methods of Aromatherapy

There are two basic methods of utilizing the beneficial effects of aromatherapy:

1) Inhalation ~ When inhaled essential oils trigger the olfactory nerves which are directly connected to our brain's limbic system. This is the part of our brain responsible for controlling our reactions, breathing, emotions, and more. Our bodies react to an aroma before it can even be identified. Additionally, tiny molecules of essential oil enter the bloodstream through the normal respiratory process providing a secondary benefit similar to application.

MAKE A SPRAY MIST ~ Take a small spray top bottle, fill it with distilled water and add 5 to 10 drops of the essential oil. This adds a wonderful therapeutic fragrance to the air around you.

DIFFUSER ~ Heated by an unscented tealight, the oil's scent evaporates into the air.

SNIFF ~ Inhale from your bottle of essential oil.

TENT YOURSELF ~ Add 4 to 10 drops of essential oil to 1 quart of very hot water in a glass bowl. Cover both head and bowl with a towel and deeply inhale the vapors. Do not let your face touch the hot oiled water.

Bed Pillow ~ add 1 drop to your pillow to inhale while sleeping and resting.

Clothing ~ 1-2 drops to keep scent with you all day.

Clothes Dryer - 2-3 drops on a cloth tossed into dryer with load of drying laundry.

Cotton Ball ~ 1 drop - great for in car or desk at work or purse.

Humidifier ~ 8 drops per pint of water.

Perfume Oil ~ 60 drops per oz. carrier oil (like almond, jojoba. apricot kernel)

Sauna ~ 5 drops on rocks

Tissue/Hanky ~ 1-2 drops

2) Application ~ Essential Oils can be applied to your body in a number of different ways. Oil can be added to warm bath water, or add to lotions, massage oils, shower gels, etc. The oils are then absorbed through the skin into the bloodstream. Additionally since the fragrance enters your lungs, you get the secondary effect of inhalation.

Tub Bath ~ Make this a warm bath, not hot as you want the oils to soak into the skin, not sweat out. 6-12 drops of essential oil per tub of water.

Compress ~ Add 4-15 drops of oil to a quart of warm or cold water (warm for arthritis, cramps, muscle pains; Cold for headaches, tension, bruises) Soak into a washcloth. Squeeze out excess and apply to affected area.

Rub into your feet ~ Add about 15 drops into a teaspoon of carrier oil. Jojoba Oil is recommended for best results. Massage into bottom of feet and let soak in for about 10-15 minutes before walking carefully to avoid slipping on oily feet.

Massage ~ 8-12 drops of essential oil per ounce of carrier oil for a general full body massage. 15-20 drops for a concentrated specific area of discomfort and trouble.

Creams & Lotions ~ Add 10 drops per ounce of unscented lotion.

Facial Mist ~ 2-15 drops per ounce of distilled water dependent on intensity desired.

Foot Bath ~ 3-5 drops per quart of hot water

Hot Tub ~ 15 drops

Mouthwash ~ 1 drop per ounce of water

Shower Gel/Shampoo ~ 3 drops per ounce of unscented liquid soap/shampoo

Mental/Emotional Symptoms	Recommended Oils
Absent Mindedness	Cedarwood
Ageing, feelings of	Tangerine
Anger	Chamomile, Mint, Ylang-Ylang
Anxiety	Cedarwood, Chamomile, Clary Sage, Frankincense, Geranium, Juniper, Lavender, Marjoram, Rosewood, Sandalwood, Tangerine
Anxiety, sexual	Sandalwood, Ylang-Ylang
Apathy	Lemon, Orange, Tangerine, Tea Tree
Bitterness	Lemon
Boredom	Orange
Burn-out	Frankincense
Change, coping with	Ylang-Ylang
Change, difficulty adjusting to	Calry Sage
Change, difficulty in making	Orange
Claustrophobia	Clary Sage, Frankincense
Compulsiveness	Clary Sage, Frankincense
Concentration, lack of	Cedarwood, Eucalyptus, Rosemary
Confidence, lack of	Ylang-Ylang
Confusion	Geranium, Lemon
Courage, lack of (see also fear)	Frankincense
Critical of Others	Rosewood
Cynicism	Sandalwood
Daydreaming	Cedarwood, Rosewood
Depression	Chamomile, Clary Sage, Frankincense, Geranium, Lavender, Orange, Sandalwood, Tangerine, Ylang-Ylang
Despondency	Juniper
Detail, over preoccupation with	Tea Tree
Discipline, lack of	Frankincense
Disorientation	Rosemary
Dreams, recurrent	Clary Sage, Sandalwood
Empathy, lack of	Rosewood
Emptiness, emotional	Tangerine
Exhaustion, mental	Frankincense
Exhaustion, from over work	Clary Sage, Orange
Fatigue, mental	Frankincense, Lavender, Mint, Rosemary, Rosewood
Fear	Chamomile, Frankincense
Fear, acute	Geranium
Fear, of upcoming events	Sandalwood
Fear, of confronting issues	Marjoram
Fear, of the dark	Lavender
Fear, of dying	Tangerine
Fear, of effort	Sandalwood
Fear, of failure	Lavender, Sandalwood, Ylang-Ylang
Fear, of going mad	Ylang-Ylang
Fear, of letting go	Ylang-Ylang
Fear, of people	Lavender, Ylang-Ylang
Fear, of others’ opinions	Cypress
Fear, rigid with	Geranium
Fear, of showing feelings	Marjoram, Ylang-Ylang
Fear, with inner trembling	Lavender
Fear, of an unknown origin	Lavender
Frustration	Ylang-Ylang
Giving in to Others	Cypress
Grief	Marjoram
Grief, for past	Tangerine
Grief, prolonged after loss	Frankincense
Grudge, holding	Lemon
Grumpiness	Redwood
Guilt, feelings of	Juniper, Ylang-Ylang
Hopelessness	Orange
Hostility	Clary Sage, Marjoram
Hyperactivity	Clary Sage, Lavender
Hypersensitivity	Mint
Hysteria	Chamomile, Lavender, Mint
Impatience	Chamomile, Lavender, Ylang-Ylang
Impulsiveness	Chamomile
Indecision	Rosemary
Insecurity	Frankincense, Lavender, Sandalwood
Insomnia	Chamomile, Clary Sage, Lavender, Orange, Sandalwood, Tangerine, Ylang-Ylang
Instability	Geranium, Rosewood
Irrationality	Lavender, Ylang-Ylang
Irritability	Chamomile, Cypress, Lavender, Marjoram, Sandalwood, Ylang-Ylang
Jealousy	Cypress, Ylang-Ylang
Joy, lack of	Orange, Tangerine
Lethargy/Listlessness	Clary Sage, Cypress, Juniper, Lemon, Orange, Rosemary, Sandalwood
Loneliness	Marjoram
Memory, poor	Rosemary
Moodiness, Mood Swings	Eucalyptus, Geranium, Lavender, Rosewood
Nerves, on last one	Chamomile
Nightmares	Frankincense, Lavender
Nostalgia, excessive living in the past	Frankincense, Sandalwood, Tangerine
Obsession	Clary Sage, Sandalwood
Obstinacy	Orange, Rosewood, Ylang-Ylang
Overactive Mind	Chamomile, Lavender, Marjoram
Overburdened	Rosewood
Overburdened, by responsibilities	Rosemary
Overemotional	Eucalyptus
Overly Talkative	Cypress

Monday Morning Whining....

2011-05-09T10:11:00.000-07:00

Monday morning. Most people have the Monday Morning Blues because it is back to the scheduled grind of work, school, carpool etc.. Me? I have other reasons….at least today I do.

I had a really lovely Mother’s Day yesterday. ~ My youngest daughter started surprising me with gifts as soon as the clock struck midnight the night before (truly, she gave me one on Friday, and then parts 2 + came on Saturday night at 12:00am), she cooked breakfast Mother’s Day morning – a full spread of eggs, pancakes…presents from my eldest daughter, and my son came spread out through the day, and my son treated us to a pizza and pasta dinner from a local favorite spot….so I could enjoy, not have to cook….perfect!!

During the day, my girls and I had gone with our dear friend William, to the X-Factor audition taping. That experience is a blog unto itself but it was a great (albeit long) day, shared with my children, and one of my favorite people on earth (besides my kids).

You’d think – or at least I did – that I would wake up this morning happy, relaxed….Mmmmm, not so much.

As always, I’m up an hour or so before everyone else, the sun just coming up, listening to the sounds of the city getting into gear for their workday. There’s a peace about this time of day, that whether outwardly productive or not, it always gives me time to sort out my thoughts, think, plan, and even dream a little. Today I can’t even find peace hiding under the covers.

My mind is racing, darting to and fro much like our youngest – fairly ADHD – cat. There is a lot at stake in my life right now, and …I’m …spinning…not sure of what to do, or how to do it, where to focus…

Three weeks ago today, I lost my job. In these times that is not uncommon but as a single mom of three, without reserves, without credit (sooo many reasons he is my ex), no child support (see previous inserted, miraculously expletive free comment)……I am reeling.

This last job lasted just a few months. Prior to that I was let go - there also - due to budget cuts from a non-profit organization I worked for where I was the Director for 2 years. I am still behind on rent (for our way too small apartment) from THAT bout of unemployment.

I know – I am whining. I hate whining. I just am in that lovely nauseating mindset of ‘how the hell do I do this’, mixed with ‘you are a life coach, you KNOW what to do’, and then the dash of ‘yes, I’ve done what I know how, am clueless now, need a hand, wish someone else could be the grown up for once’……

Like I said….Monday Morning Whining…..ok I’m done now.

Moments of Motherhood - Mother's Day May Blog Tour Day 1

2011-05-01T10:03:00.000-07:00

Moments of Motherhood

When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child.

~Sophia Loren,Women and Beauty

I love this quote by Sophia Loren, who is perhaps not whom we picture, when we think ‘mom’….but a mom indeed she is! In addition to the glam, the glitz, and the exotic accent….she is a mom, and by this quote, clearly gets ‘it’. You know….that exhausting factor that no one else…not even fathers can quite grasp. – There is NEVER EVER EVER a moment when our children are not on our minds; when we are not worrying, planning, factoring them in to every decision we make.

We are never alone….that sounds so comforting…but at times it also feels a tad claustrophobic. As mothers we carry with us the most tremendous responsibility….but far from a burden, it is actually the most tremendous gift.

This gift of motherhood has the amazing ability of being re-given to us in little doses, tiny moments, scattered here and there.

….we catch a glimpse of our child looking or acting just like us. Watching a mini me version of ourselves warms the heart, and the mother-child connection fills us up so much it even pushes out the exhaustion we often have.

…our child accomplishes something he or she has been REALLY wanting. The joy we feel as we look at their beaming, ecstatic face, goes far beyond any joy we have ever personally felt before.

…that mischievous grin…that while it may mean ‘uh oh, my kid just got a hair brained idea that is sure to restructure my living room’…it also holds such light, joy, and promise….it makes our hearts hopeful, and amuses the heck out of us.

…the little hand creeping in to ours…even a teenage sized hand…to just hold our hand….just because you are both there and you are their mom. Nothing sweeter!

…’This is Yummy’….no 5 star chef review needed…When we hear this often mouth filled passionate declaration…we feel like culinary geniuses, super mom incarnate!

You know the moments….they come unexpectedly….they are often fleeting…sometimes swept away in the chaos of the day…but they stay with us forever…as memories…as sacred brilliant Moments of Motherhood…they are with us forever ….like a tattoo on our heart.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next stop on our first annual Mother’s Day May Blog Tour is my friend Christine…. Please be sure to click on this link and read her Mother’s Day May Blog tomorrow (May 2) http://allaboutmomsense.blogspot.com/

I will be posting more blogs – many mom related throughout the month as well as following my friends on our tour….be sure to stop back here as well.

I think we all deserve a special treat now and then….SO…..I am preparing a special gift for one lucky reader. On June 1 I will be doing a random drawing from my blog followers. If you would like a chance to win this special prize….all you have to do is….

1. Follow this blog
2. Post a comment on this blog that lets me know how many entries you are entitled to in this drawing. Yes, that is right you can earn more entries by….
3. Follow me on Twitter … @NadiaR13
4. Follow me on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/nadia.romanov
5. Follow my fan page on Facebook http://on.fb.me/jSVU8N
6. Follow me on YouTube (AMAZING projects coming there VERY soon!) http://bit.ly/jrAjqs
7. Follow me on Modern Mom http://www.modernmom.com/users/nadia

That is a total of SIX entries possible….Blog, Twitter, Facebook, Facebook fan page, YouTube, and Modern Mom.

GOOD LUCK….and early Happy Mother’s Day!

Mother's Day May Blog Tour

2011-04-30T21:43:00.000-07:00

Just one day to honor Mothers is simply not enough, so some Mom-Blogger pals of mine and I are dedicating this entire month of May to Moms. Each day one of us will post a special Mom-related blog and then guide you on to the next day’s blog with an easy access link to just click for the next day. On this blog tour, you will meet new friends, find new blogs to follow that bring you laughs, tears, tips, ‘Thank Goodness It’s Not Just Me’ moments, and more…Some bloggers may even offer drawings for prizes to pamper YOU…You just need to follow along, read…and wait for more details on how you can get some great goodies as souvenirs on this Mother’s Day May Blog Tour. Enjoy!

Fearless Women - Midlife Portraits - by Mary Ann Halpin

2011-04-27T16:43:00.000-07:00

Women are complex creatures, full of seemingly opposite characteristics. The feminine mystique has been the subject of much literature, poetry, lyrics, and art. No one ever seems able to full do justice to every facet of The Woman.

Until Now.

Mary Ann Halpin is a renowned photographer whose artistic skill, mixed with her intuitive wisdom, creates exquisite images that reveal the soulful depths of her subjects. Mary Ann has captured every aspect of humanity in her photography career – ranging from the glamour of Hollywood and reaching far into the raw despair of Skid Row. Through the lens of Mary Ann’s camera we take a journey to places in our society, and deep within the human soul that would otherwise be inaccessible to us.

The gift of Mary Ann’s photography is accessible to everyone through her various books. Her first book Pregnant Goddesshood: A Celebration of Life, is best described on her own site as having ‘garnered national attention for its book's powerful images. Controversial at the time, it portrayed pregnant women as radiant and beautiful, and encouraged women to embrace and celebrate their pregnant bodies with a commemorative portrait.’

Mary Ann’s second book is our current focus…. Fearless Women: Midlife Portraits. Co-written by Nancy Alspaugh and Marilyn Kentz, this black and white photographic treasure features celebrities such as Joni Mitchell, Cybill Shepherd, Erin Brokovitch, Joan Lunden, Leeza Gibbons, Shari Belafonte, Erin Brockovich, and Native American medicine woman Brooke Medicine Eagle and other inspirationally fearless women. The focus of this stunning book is to share how these women faced aging into middle age and beyond without fear…often taking on challenges and new ventures – that they never would have in their ‘youth’.

The beauty, depth, vulnerability, and strength of each of these women are all simultaneously starkly seen in each of these exquisite portraits.

The photographic imagery couple with their accompanying story, is moving, and inspiring to readers….to do more, be more….be YOU…FEARLESSLY!

In summer of 2010 the second book in this series - Fearless Women~Fearless Wisdom – was released. This stunning second volume was celebrated Fearless Women Day on August 26, 2010, the 90th anniversary of the 19th amendment being ratified which allowed women the right to vote. I hope to review this second volume at a later date. I love these books and know how many people – women AND men – have been moved and motivated by them.

The third book in this series - Fearless Women, Visions of a New World - is currently in production and will be released in 2012. Mary Ann is currently seeking women visionaries to be featured in this newest segment of the Fearless Women series. I cannot wait to see who is included in this new project of women who create and facilitate change in our world, with their positive vision and belief in peace, harmony, and creating a newly improved world for us all.

I was fortunate to have my Fearless Portrait taken by Mary Ann last year…..

My signed copy of this amazing book..... What a compliment!

Mary Ann's books are available on Amazon and other major retailers. For signed copies please visit her site: http://www.maryannhalpin.com/htmlver/info.php?num=4

My Night at Dancing with the Stars 4-26-11

2011-04-26T22:23:00.000-07:00

Tonight I was fortunate enough to be in the live studio audience of Dancing with the Stars. We were there as a VERY special birthday gift to my daughter Samantha, from Mark Ballas.

We had great seats...it was SO amazing to see the ballroom, the live performances....and Brooke Burke in person in all her DWTS glam! Pia Tuscano performed live - what an AWESOME voice.

Seeing the Backstreet Boys and New Kids on the Block perform together....really was a trip down memory lane!

Here I am with the beautiful, sassy, and inspirational Kirstie Alley.

An amazing night I will always remember!

The Greater Good

2011-04-20T23:12:00.000-07:00

One World. One People. Perhaps many faces. Perhaps many philosophies. Perhaps many cultures, flavors, and scenery. One World. One People.
It is our responsibility to be of support to the rest of humanity. We all have something to give - time, skills, finances, and so much more. We ALL have so much....just different. It is similar to bartering, when we as a whole, share, support, and give to one another from our uniqueness.
Whether all you have to give is an hour of your time, one dollar, one prayer….it all counts…
Here I will share with you my favorite charities, organizations that offer all kinds of support and new beginnings, as well as spotlight various ‘causes’ that are dear to me and how we can help in their plight.
Please take a moment to read through each section, and then give….of your heart….to the rest of the world.

Spread love everywhere you go. Let no one ever come to you without leaving happier." - Mother Teresa

One World. One People.

Over the past several months I have had the honor of volunteering at the Los Angeles Mission. Over the course of several visits, I have served dinner at a graduation celebration, answered phones, welcomed visitors and those in need at the front desk, and packed Easter baskets for the huge annual Easter event. On each of these occasions, I was increasingly impressed by LA Mission, the generous people who give of their time, heart and soul to work there, and to come volunteer there, and most of all the people who come to LA Mission for help and a new start.
The pride and renewed dignity was beaming from the rehab & training program graduates ...and their families! I had never served so many people, at such a fast pace, multiple courses. The 2 hours flew by in a blur of wait staff, dishes, and pitchers of punch. What shines clearly in my mind from that night, and stays with me as an inspiration always, is GRATITUDE. The gratitude of the graduates and their families - grateful for this new beginning, grateful for the help they received as they learned new life and career skills, fought addiction, and regained their inner balance and strength. Gratitude from the LA Mission staff for the extra helping hands of the volunteers. Gratitude of staff and volunteers for having the opportunity and honor to be celebrating with these brave people, who took back control of their lives. It was an exquisite evening.

Working at the front desk was not merely clerical work. People came in to sign up for various services....emergency food baskets, a shower, dinner.... I think that the homeless mothers who came in with their babies in their arms, requesting diapers, really affected me the deepest. Things we take for granted as being just a normal part of life are so desperately needed by so many - way too many. As we complain about the expense of diapers or contemplate between disposable and cloth....we don't think about diapers and wipes as luxury items. Can you imagine holding your child, knowing your infant desperately needs a clean diaper, and having no way to in sight to get these basic necessary items?!?! Parents in need are given a 5 pack of diapers and wipes. The relief and gratitude on the parents' faces was heart wrenching and beautiful at the same time.
My favorite volunteer time was early one Saturday morning, packing Easter baskets. Inspired by a blog written by Brooke Burke, I brought my 3 children with me to volunteer. I had always planned to share this life changing experience with my children, but after reading Brooke's blog"The Importance of Charity" (click here to read) I was eager to bring them with me as soon as possible. In this blog Brooke discussed sharing a charity event with her children and how wonderful it was for her daughters - how moving, how eye opening.... It was time I did the same. Side by side, joined by volunteers, Mission employees, and program residents, as well as a father-daughter team, and a Girls Scout troupe, we filled colorful plastic eggs with candy, filled baskets with toys, candy, stickers, and more fun items. With every item prepared I could just imagine the excitement and joy these baskets would be bringing to children on Easter. They could celebrate the holiday despite their circumstances, and would have fun treat to brighten their day. It was SO wonderful to watch my children enjoy the same volunteer experience. As a family....we were helping other families. Nothing feels better than that!
We rarely realize how much we have. No matter how small our residence may feel, we have a roof over our heads. Think of that with gratitude.... especially when it rains! We have food, we are not starving, nor are we watching our children starve. Not all are so fortunate. We often drag through our days, feeling worn out and like we should give up on our dreams....There are SO many who EVERY day wake up on the streets and find the strength, the faith, the hope to get through another day, and hopefully rebuild their lives. We have SO much!! The least we can do is share. Times are hard...and just because some have less than us, does not mean we have even a dollar to spare. Many people, in this economy are just a hairbreadth away from being homeless themselves. Yet we ALL have something we can give. We can give of our time; We can lend a hand; We can smile as we serve someone what may be their only meal of the day; We can donate the clothing that we haven't worn in months (or longer) and give someone else a refreshed feeling of identity and self worth.
The people that I met...gave ME so much....They reminded me what strength truly looks like; How indomitable the human spirit truly can be; How grateful and giving so many truly are.
I will be headed back to the volunteer office at the LA Mission again this coming week and I look forward to it more than I can even tell you! We are also preparing more bags of clothes to donate as well.
PLEASE volunteer....there are many opportunities in EVERY area, no matter where you live, and of course you can send donations to organizations worldwide.
I encourage you all to visit the LA Mission website for more information on the many services they provide and how you can help.

http://www.losangelesmission.org/Home.aspx

Chaos, Planning, Spring....and other Mystifying Myths

2011-03-21T19:01:00.000-07:00

The quotes and clichés are numerous.

‘Man makes plans and God laughs’…..’The best laid plans…' etc., etc., etc..

This past week has been a live performance of those and similar sentiments for my family and I.

We were hard hit with computer issues of all kinds - on laptops and desktops alike. Doing schoolwork, posting blogs, even simple communications were not that simple…if even possible at all!

Spring cleaning plans got totally derailed by very UN-Spring like storms. The torrential rains caused flooding, falling trees, mudslides, and more.

(this is a flooded street, not a river or canal!)

While unlike many Californians, I am not afraid of driving in the rain, I was certainly dissuaded from going out into that chaotic mess to haul home a rented carpet shampooer and groceries!

The weather today is keeping us all guessing.

I woke up to much clearer skies, a touch of blue peeking out here and there.

Within hours the ominous and angry looking storm clouds were thickly rolling in, and then came a downpour.

Less than an hour later the sky is mostly blue, clear, and bright.

Talk about a lesson in ‘taking it as it goes’!

Good news is that the computers are behaving a bit better and more consistently so blogs are being posted (SO sorry for delays), assignments being submitted, and emails sent.

Hopefully the weather, and flow of my goals being accomplished as planned will go more smoothly…at least for an hour or so!

Just remember we can never TRULY forecast what the next moment, hour, day, let alone year will bring....so be present in the NOW - do you best, make the most of it!

The Strength and Vulnerability of a Popular Mom....Brooke Burke

2011-03-21T15:57:00.000-07:00

We have all been familiar with Brooke Burke’s exceptional beauty for many years now, as she modeled, hosted, and was simply one of the most naturally beautiful women in the public eye. With the popularity of Twitter, as well as through her very popular blog on Modern Mom, we have gotten more than a glimpse into Brooke’s life, both personally and professionally. Sharing pictures, insights, and feelings that span ballroom gowns and jewels for her DWTS hostess wardrobe, carpool, parenting challenges, relationship peaks and valleys...we get a real view into what it is like to be Brooke….a working mom, just like – and yet so different than - so many of us.
I have always had immense respect for Brooke’s authenticity. She admits when she finds things challenging, shares her exhaustion as a mom of four, and with every tweet and blog, she brings to light how similar we all are. For as vast and different as our lives are – single, married, children, no children, employed, unemployed, in the spotlight or in the shadows – as women, as mothers – we share so much common ground and we are never alone.
I was fairly certain that The Naked Mom would read along the lines of Brooke’s blog, which I enjoy immensely. After reading the book excerpt that Brooke shared on her Modern Mom site I realized The Naked Mom would be so much more than the blogs expressed. I still had NO idea.
As eager as I was to read Brooke’s book, I chose to wait and purchase my copy at her book signing at Barnes & Noble at The Grove, part of the famous Los Angeles landmark, Farmer’s Market.
I know this is a review of Brooke’s book, but first I have to just comment on Brooke herself. She is far more beautiful in person. Not just the beauty we all see on the cover of Shape Magazine, Skechers ads, and DWTS advertising, but the true beauty of graciousness with everyone, strength mixed with vulnerability, her authenticity – her true beauty. She fielded questions from fans, handling even personal questions on unexpected topics with a grace and light humor that allowed everyone to remain at ease. It was truly a pleasure to meet her; an opportunity I had barely dared to hope for prior to this event.

The Naked Mom is so multi-faceted that I read it twice before even attempting to review it.
Brooke shares experiences from every aspect of her life. We learn what is most sacred to her, what she enjoys, what she yearns for, what she is proud of. She is open, honest, and frankly, very brave, to let so many millions of people see so deeply into her life, and into her heart.
In her chapter ‘The Mirror-Ball Trophy’, sharing her journey as a contestant and winner of Dancing with the Stars, Brooke reminds us that for as public as an experience may be, there is a LOT that goes on behind the scenes, and even more so even farther out of the public eye, within the heart and soul. The triumph over self-doubt, the determination to do her best – whatever that best may end up being, and the follow through on her commitment to the competition, especially for the sake of being a good example to her children – all shows us what TRULY makes Brooke Burke a winner. What appeared to viewers as a sequined path danced along with a handsome young partner had many painful potholes, and detours. Yet, Brooke showed herself, her children, and all of us what perseverance truly can accomplish.
The Naked Mom is overflowing with tips, suggestions, and wisdom Brooke has gleaned through both the personal and professional portions of her life. I found myself making notes to try a certain approach, mental space, or hands on daily grind juggling.
As I mentioned, I read The Naked Mom twice before writing this review. BOTH times, I laughed AND cried. At times at portions that struck a different chord in me the second time through, and at times at the same poignant sections that affected me so strongly the first time.
I was deeply touched by Brooke’s vulnerability. It is so difficult for ANYONE to admit when they have stumbled, are afraid, or feel imperfect. It is tremendously more difficult to do so, for someone whose career positions them as a perfect woman, perfect beauty, perfect mom, perfect hostess – in the spotlight in front of millions. Brooke exercised remarkable courage in showing the world – the real Brooke. Teaching us all the invaluable lesson that the ideal woman we see in the spotlight, and whom we aspire to be like, is VERY human, and exquisitely imperfect just as we are.
While my life and experiences are so VASTLY different than Brooke’s have been, I found myself relating to her as if we had truly been walking along the same path. The take away lesson is that we HAVE BEEN. There is SO much common ground amongst women – how we emote, how we survive, where we find joy and fulfillment. There is even more commonality amongst mothers. Those inarticulately subtle (as well as some blindingly glaring) changes in how we process everything in our lives, even those aspects that do not seem parenting related – once we are parents. Whether my child, my friend, or my man said or did the same thing that Brooke’s did, I still found myself relating to her emotional reactions, how her experiences affected her.
I think my favorite lesson from Brooke’s book is her statement that essentially there is no ‘balancing it all’ but rather ‘managing the chaos’. In chaos there is opportunity, there is beauty, there is adventure, there is an openness to blessings and authenticity that is simply lost in a regimented life. All of us should truly aspire to simply – manage it to the best of our ability. To navigate the bumps in the road, the twists and turns, even when we cannot see what awaits us on the other side of the mountain that seems to loom in front of us.
I encourage you all to do two things. 1) Buy Brooke’s book. The Naked Mom will entertain you, and will make you more comfortable in your OWN skin. Come to love your naked self. If there is any one characteristic of Brooke’s that I would choose to emulate and achieve (and there are MANY) it would be to become so BOLDLY authentic. 2) Make a ‘bucket list’/simply must achieve list/vision board – whatever visual tool you choose be it in images or words – State your dreams, wishes, desires, and goals! Be courageous enough to put them down on paper. Make yourself and the Universe accountable to attaining those goals for yourself.
Brooke – thank you – for your beauty – inside and out….and for being SO truly relatable which helps us all see that we too, each have a unique beauty that shines from within.

Trump This!! An Example of True Grace Under Fire

2011-03-21T15:49:00.000-07:00

Lisa Rinna
Actress, Author, Mom, Wife, Mother, Business Woman, TV Host & more..

Last week I watched Celebrity Apprentice. I have watched sporadically in the past – never a full season. Last week my family and I chose to watch because Lisa Rinna was one of the participants and I am a fan of hers. I admire her spunk, her tenacity, her blunt honesty…and of course enjoy her work as an actress and author as well.

We watched the episode with a mix of horror at some, and growing admiration for others.

Those who were finger-pointing blamers, bullies, and another ‘B –word’ need not be named here. They have gotten FAR too much attention, press, air time, and years of esteem which frankly I do not feel they deserve. These women who have been public voices and personalities in various public arenas (law, acting, tv, music, and more) were horrifically cornering and bullying a woman who is gutsy, creative, and takes responsibility publically for her actions and decisions ….as we see publically in her book, on Twitter, in interviews, and in the very essence of who she is. To add insult to already injured sensibilities, one of these bullies was rudely derivative to actress Marlee Maitlin in regards to being deaf. It was offensive, insensitive, crass, and unfeeling…and she shamelessly said it to Marlee’s face! I will just say this to that particular bully – ‘Marlee Maitlin listens to people far more than most. Nothing about her is sad or a downer….she is positive, inspiring, and amazing’. End of Story.

But I digress….kind of….

In watching that episode of Celebrity Apprentice, in which Mr Trump made one of his worst decisions besides his hair style…in that episode….I found more to admire about Lisa Rinna.

While I have not (yet?) interviewed her as is usually the case for my Women of Wonder column on my site and in this blog, I do wish to share what I learned from her that night.

Lisa Rinna is …for lack of a better term….ballsy. She has taken on roles of all kinds in her acting – not letting anyone pigeonhole her as being limited in what type of woman she can portray, and not being fearful of the controversy in her characters. She danced her way into yet more hearts as a contestant on Dancing with the Stars a few season back. Lisa’s book Rinnavation is VERY open, honest, and explicit in her views on how to renovate yourself, your life, and your relationship. Full of great advice, tips, and anecdotes, it is not for the shy or faint of heart. I loved it! Lisa’s next book was a fictional work – a novel I have yet to read (sorry Lisa – I swear I will catch up soon!). She and her husband Harry Hamlin own an AMAZINGLY beautiful clothing boutique in Sherman Oaks, California. They also did a very revealing reality show last year called ‘Harry Loves Lisa’. No matter what the varied opinions are about reality TV – allowing cameras and millions of (judgmental) viewers into your personal and professional life takes …..GUTS! We see Lisa as mom, wife, daughter, actress, business owner, friend, and strong yet vulnerable woman.

On top of it all – Lisa then joined this season’s cast of Celebrity Apprentice. Of all the challenges she may have assumed she would face, I somehow doubt that she foresaw she would have to deal with not one but two, two-faced bullies, who sought to sacrifice anyone they saw as a threat to their own ‘win’. I feel they pushed Lisa to lead last week’s challenge because they did not want to (aka were afraid to) keep competing against her week after week. They took one look at her beauty, could sense her spunk and determination, knew of her popularity and wanted to try and squash that to make themselves feel bigger and better. They proved the opposite. The world saw them for who they really are…AND…best of all….we all saw Lisa handle it all with a strength and grace those other women can only dream of ever having.

As I watched Lisa lead the team – hearing each person’s ideas and concerns, standing strong in the face of pressure and bullying, allowing her creativity and fun nature to flow despite the circumstances…I was truly WOW’d. It was clear how she is such a successful business woman in her own boutique and public life.

Lisa may have been ‘fired’ from Apprentice, but she showed millions of viewers a shining example of true feminine strength, the power of determination…and class and grace under fire.

What a beautiful example she is for her daughters….and mine….and yours.

(Lisa ….if you happen to be reading this….I would LOVE to interview you….maybe come to Belle Gray, do a little shopping, and catch a quick interview with you…. Hopefully Yours, Nadia)

Manifest....Destiny

2011-03-16T00:57:00.000-07:00

Peace evades this weary heart
Mind askew in rampant search
Soul determined to stay the course
No sleep so needed in dark of night
Adhering closely to intuitive sight
Listening in certainty to know the source.
This moon I seek to ascertain
What to discard and what to gain
Goals change form with every breath
The pain, the chaos meet their death
The new, the real bloom at last
The result is seen, the magick cast.

An Inspiring Interview with Award Winning Paranormal Author - JoLynne Valerie

2011-02-17T14:44:00.000-08:00

Those of you who have already read my book review this month of ‘Strange Love’, have enjoyed a brief glimpse into the creative mind, soul, and heart of JoLynne Valerie. I have been doubly blessed this month to have JoLynne’s work on my Top Shelf, as well as the opportunity to interview her here.

I knew from the first time I read JoLynne’s posts on MySpace (way back when that was the place to be on the net) that she was way more than merely knowledgeable. She was clearly wise, soulful, and created to teach…not just with her words, not just through her writing, but by her very existence. She is beyond inspiring to me. In how she does the most mundane tasks, she shares them with us, and emanates a feeling, an experience of the spiritual in everything. I believe above all else, JoLynne embodies the message that nothing is truly mundane; all has a purpose, all is part of us and we are spiritual beings who may do seemingly mundane actions, but truly every thought word and deed is spiritual, it creates our life, our world, our experience and destiny.

JoLynne introduces herself on Facebook with this bio….a tantalizing taste before we dive into her interview:

Award-Winning Paranormal Author. Professional ParaGoddess, originator of the lifestyle and brand. Organic, holistic, cosmic. That's me with the cappuccino, the Riesling, the hair... I'm the one in the black dress, the skinny jeans, the high heels... I am ParaGoddess & She is me. Some say I'm hell on heels. You decide.
FAIR WARNING: I post frequently and passionately. I'm not elusive or self important and could never be... You'll find updates on my *•｡☂Sexxy•Licious☂｡•* and sometimes crazy #ParaGoddess author life, daily #CosmicEnergies posts and lots and lots of pictures.
More about me... Magazine columnist (holistic health, spirituality) and former PBS TV show host.
Three books to date and counting. Metaphysical and supernatural diva. ParaGoddess podcasts every month on the New Moon. ♔P•A•R•A♛G•O•D•D•E•S•S♔

Past life: Former Editor of two print magazines. Wrote content for and eventually co-hosted a PBS television show. ☽♥

And now for my revealing interview with JoLynne…

• When did you know what your passion/your calling was in life?

Really, from a very young age. The only profession I ever entertained was that of writer. I say this with confidence; some of my favorite very early memories include admiring books, making books, smelling books. Sounds kind of funny when I say it like that.

• How did you find the courage to pursue your path – professionally, and personally – when it is such a challenge in a world where acceptance seems key to survival?

Well, based on the way you framed the question, I guess my upbringing provided the foundation and courage; I've never really been accepted. There are a few reasons for that. First, (let's just get it out there) I don't look like everyone else. Italian and Portuguese makes for a rather unusual appearance. So I was always the different looking girl in most situations: school, dance class, the playground, church.

I guess in a very real way, acceptance means nothing to me. I do what I do (and always have) because I love it. Also because I feel I have no choice. The way some people view eating, is the way I view sharing my insights, writing and ParaGoddess lifestyle, with the world.

• What have been your biggest challenges?

May I take the 5th on this? No? Ah, you can't blame me for trying! *wink* I guess what most would call acceptance would be the answer. But as I've already divulged, that isn't an issue for me, so.... As for challenges, we all experience them. I personally recognize every challenge as a lesson, opportunity for growth, or means to strengthen myself. Challenges can also provide the means by which we are balanced, or go deeper emotionally or spiritually. I remain pretty even keel in terms of positivity and loyalty to mission as writer/author/ParaGoddess.

• You juggle SO much – writing, promoting your work, being a mom, daughter, friend…how do you juggle it all? How do you find the emotional and physical energy and stamina to handle it all? What inspires you? What supports you in those moments of exhaustion or uncertainty?

The truth? I barely sleep. This is not healthy; I don't recommend it! I've been working on sleeping more, lately. I'll keep you posted as to how that goes.

As far as support, I've been so very blessed and honored to have had some great women on Team ParaGoddess over the past couple of years. And yes, they've been all women (although I adore men, let it be known!). The team seems to change as I and my work, evolve. That's okay with me; I trust that the right people will appear at the right time.

In terms of personal support, I've never needed many people in my life (this is a hardcore Scorpio trait) save for a good friend or two and a passionate/soul-mate relationship (in times of plenty). For the most part, I'm a one-woman show (another Scorpio thing). It doesn't feel odd or uncomfortable to me. A lot of forward thinkers, natural leaders and visionaries are loner types, actually.

• You share so much of yourself with your readers via social media – that is so generous of you on so many levels – that takes a whole other level of courage. Why do you choose to share so much? Do you ever feel overexposed?

I am not over-exposed. Even though it doesn't look like it, I'm actually pretty guarded in terms of what I share. I'm also aware that forging a very real and personal connection with readers, fans and online friends is a beautiful, gorgeous thing. I have to do it. Connection is what life is all about.

I also do it because I believe so passionately and with so much conviction, in my #ParaGoddess lifestyle - which, for those who are not familiar with it, is a commitment to authenticity, generosity, gratitude, passion, health, spirituality, joy and love. This lifestyle is appropriate for anyone; it is genderless. I know I'm here to share it, so I do.

Then there's the whole *don't want to be an elusive and/or boring author* thing. That is a huge turn off for me when I see it. While it doesn't motivate me to do what I do at all, it does affirm that my way of doing social media is correct for me.

Providing a window to see inside my life doesn't seem to require courage of me. It's natural, organic... and I'm aware that my words, life, choices, ups, downs, perspectives and silly-goofy-#OmgSheDidNOT moments, really... (searching for the right term) inform people. I think I make fans laugh, too. And roll their eyes. And I think I inspire them in some capacity. That alone elevates sharing my life via social media, to a responsibility.

• As a mom of 3, I MUST ask….How do your children handle your fame? A challenge I have personally faced….Has there ever been a part of who you are, how people respond to you (even online), or what you do that makes them uncomfortable? How do you create harmony between all these facets of who you are and who they are within one family and home?

My kids have always seen my public life, so it's really normal to them. They were with mom when I was signing copies of the magazine I was editor of (at networking events and expos) and they saw as I dressed up and rushed off daily to film the show I did for PBS. They've seen what it takes to write a book, and they've been with me at very small and very large book signings and workshops.

They kind of think it's cool, but on the other hand... they're kids.

They roll their eyes at me a lot, and I've heard on more than one occasion, "We should take a picture of you RIGHT NOW and put this on Facebook!" I'll let your imaginations go wild with that one (as to what I may have been doing, saying, wearing, or how I looked!)

• What would you advise women who are afraid of pursuing their dreams?

Three things, only. Three imperative things: 1. Get to a source of support and empowerment, immediately. That might be a women's group, it might be church. It might be a spiritual circle, it might be therapy. Identify the options that will uplift and empower you, and put yourself on a steady diet of it. 2. Heal yourself. Be willing to do the work. We've all got STUFF. Stuff from our childhoods, stuff from the past. Fallout from failed relationships (that still lives in our hearts), regret or self loathing, and that can settle in the soul. Those things must be operated on and removed (picture surgery). It's called healing... healing the mind and spirit. We must do it, otherwise no matter what we're able to achieve as regards our dreams, it's only a matter of time before we unhinge, sabotage it or self destruct. 3. Just effing do it. If you don't, someone else will, and then you'll be miserable. And you'll know fulfillment (instead of regret) at the end of your days.

• Any secrets for how to balance between being a Sexy ParaGoddess and a Mom? Is there even any contradiction between those two aspects of you or for any woman?
Oh goodness, I'm not sure my response will be palatable for everyone. I sort of live the Sexxy*Licious ParaGoddess lifestyle 24/7. My pajamas and even sweat pants and t-shirts are kind of... well, Sexxy*Licious. This is nothing new; it's the way I've always been. (I'm telling you, I was born for this job! LOL)

But balance in our lives is important, and I certainly don't want to suggest anyone feel they've got to make their morning coffee in full makeup (I don't!).

To your question, I'll say this: there have been days I've tidied the house, signed books to ship out to readers, dashed over to my mother's apartment to make her scrambled eggs and toast, dashed back home to make dinner for the kids (while throwing in a load of laundry) and then poured a glass of wine so I could relax as I decided what shoes I want to use for the next SexxyLicious Shoe Pictoral.

Have I ever shown up to ballet class without makeup? Of course not. Do I make my own dog-food? Yes. It's all about balance. *wink*

• A favorite quote or thought that you would like to share ….

"A good story can be magic... let me show you."
-JoLynne Valerie

Intrigued? I am sure you are! To learn more about JoLynne, to learn more from her, to purchase signed copies of her amazing books…check out JoLynne’s site and blog, follow her on Twitter, friend her on Facebook….Enjoy!

http://www.JoLynneValerie.com

http://www.JoLynneValerie.Blogspot.com

http://www.Twitter.com/JoLynneValerie

http://www.facebook.com/OFFICIAL.JoLynne.Valerie.FANPAGE

http://www.Youtube.com/JoLynneValerie

http://www.Myspace.com/JoLynneValerie

Who REALLY Has the Power? A Quick Comment on Society, Marketing

2011-02-15T12:09:00.000-08:00

With Valentine's Day just past, a certain 'reaction of society' that I always see and am mystified by, seems to be at an all time forefront!

People who LOVED Valentine's Day (no pun intended) complained how commercialism took meaning away from true love. They found themselves measuring their partner's devotion by the size of the gifts and hoopla presented to them for this special day.

People who were single - the lonely variety of single, I would imagine (as I am and this did NOT apply to me!) - complained they felt sad, and even WORSE about their lack of love status due to the onslaught of hearts, roses, and chocolates everywhere.

Time to face FACTS people!

EVERY DAY - no matter what date it is - good times or bad - we have a CHOICE....WE have the POWER to decide if we feel happy, sad, hopeful, or devastated. Holidays will occur, people will do and say things, events will transpire and it is STILL up to US and ONLY US to decide - to use our POWER OF CHOICE - as to how we REACT and experience life.

It is a choice....if you CHOOSE to let commercialized marketing of ANY day - be it Valentine's Day, Mother's Day, Christmas even...if you let the uber-marketing-hype that is needed for REVENUE not emotion - if you CHOOSE to let that ruin your day - be you married, single or whatever then you are choosing to be sad or miserable.

See marketing as MARKETING...COMMERCE....not a measure of anyone's feelings for you.

EVERY DAY Vegetarians walk by ads for meat products on sale at food stores, and as sumptuous specials at restaurants. They live contently with their CHOICE - no matter what is thrown in their line of vision. I am sure some will say that is different because EVERYONE wants love and yet veggies do not want meat ...the point people- the REAL point...is that you can ignore what is not of value to you. When you see Valentine's Day marketed everywhere - you can CHOOSE to love the idea of love even if you don't have it yet. You can CHOOSE to realize the baubles and candies are nice items but NOTHING truly measures your mate's love and devotion besides how you feel in their love. NOTHING - no diamond, no bouquet, NOTHING....

It's a choice....I chose to be happy, celebrate love, EVEN being a single mom and that can indeed be lonely and hard to manage alone...I CHOSE to celebrate love, my belief in it, my anticipation for it etc....

Allowing/CHOOSING to let V-day make you sad, insecure etc is the same as EVERY day saying I am fat and ugly because Kate Moss makes MILLIONS being a scrawny rail thin skeleton on magazine covers...MARKETING.

Fashion industry MARKETS - it is our CHOICE if it makes us feel fat or ugly. If a magazine image makes you feel that way - you ALREADY felt that way, you just ignored it till you had someone else to blame, making them 'responsible' for your misery instead of taking responsibility for yourself - your health, your self esteem etc.

Porn is an INDUSTRY that of COURSE over exaggerates and flaunts - it is our CHOICE if we let that make us insecure sexually....

Same with romance and love on V-day.

We can ALWAYS find an excuse to be in pain....or we can (with same or even LESS) effort find TRUE causes to be happy.

Choose. The CAUSE for our feelings is in OUR hands, not what is commercialized about on a given day.

Stop giving away your power. Stop using outside influences as excuses for not being happy, for not living, for not excelling, for not progressing.

I guarantee there were people who got 6 dozen long stem roses, multiple carats of diamonds, pounds of imported chocolates, an expensive dinner at a fine restaurant....and were still miserable because that is how they felt inside about themselves and/or about their relationship ANYWAY - regardless of what was given to them.

OWN YOUR LIFE. It's yours...you may as well claim it!

Valentine's Day - A Special Recipe for Love and Romance...

2011-02-11T14:37:00.000-08:00

Valentine’s Day is all about romance and love. We are surrounded by hearts, roses, and it seems as if the entire world has been painted red and pink. It seems people are split between those frantically making Valentine’s Day plans, and those lamenting that they do not have a current love interest to share this ‘day of romance’ with.

LOVE is LOVE….it is something to be celebrated whether it is currently in our lives at the moment in the form of a partner, or not. Ironic how we all want someone to love us, but so few love ourselves. Kind of illogical to think someone else would be enamored with us, if we don’t feel that way….Let alone, how can we be putting forth the energy of being ready of love if we feel unlovable?

We are all worthy of love….if we weren’t we wouldn’t be here. It truly is as simple as that. Anything that makes that feel untrue, or unreachable, is just you getting in your own way, and keeping you from feeling content within yourself, as well as keeping you from attracting a loving partner into your life.

That being said….Valentine’s Day is a great day to start LIVING LOVE….of ourselves, of others….living with passion in all we do, experiencing pleasure in the world around us.

While so much of Valentine’s Day is focused on the ‘sweet treats’ be they chocolate or berries…there are other sensuous foods that can be enjoyed as snacks, a light lunch, an appetizer….Of the many foods that fit in this category, I have chosen to spotlight two of my favorites: Tomatoes and Avocadoes.

The Aphrodisiac Power of the Tomato: The website www.eatsomethingsexy.com expresses it best about this sensual, multi-textured, succulently juicy fruit (or vegetable as per your categorizing preference).

“When the tomato, a rare and fascinatingly exotic plant native to South America, was first introduced to European culture, society shunned the red-skinned fruit under the pretense that it was poisonous. But the myth was quickly dispelled once the French and Italians discovered the succulence of the ripe fruit’s flesh. The once-feared tomato became known as the love apple, poma amoris or pomme d’amour depending on region. Lust-red in color with sweet, tangy flesh, it became the perfect symbol for the aphrodisiac qualities of food.

A member of the nightshade family, tomatoes have been cross bred with mandrake, another nightshade, to create narcotic red fruits, an experiment worthy of elevating the succulent, sweet tomato to new aphrodisiac heights. The tomato is also related to deadly belladonna, which may also help explain its aphrodisiac allure as well as but also sheds light on the fruit’s initial classification as toxic.

The tomato has been linked to the Garden of Eden. Some even call it the “other” forbidden fruit. Even into the 19th Century, Catholics questioned the tomato’s “morality.” It earned a place, as a matter of fact, on the brethren’s list of forbidden dishes, along with any other food that put into question the ability of lust-filled young members of the church to maintain self-control within the scarlet tomato’s presence. Far-fetched as it might seem that one glance at a soft, fresh-picked tomato still warm from the sun could overpower the devout with desire, however tomatoes do certainly bring something to the table in the game of gastronomic foreplay.

Succulent flesh from a perfectly ripe tomato, sweet with the flavors of the garden and just soft to the touch, is the perfect food to feed your love. Lightly salt and serve from your fingers, letting the seeded flesh slide down your skin. Soon you will discover why the sensual secrets of this food were feared for centuries.”

The Aphrodisiac Power of the Avocado: Again quoting this amazing site, eatsomethingsexy.com explains the sensual allure of an avocado…from its shape, to its texture and taste….

”In the beginning, the avocado was deemed an aphrodisiac for its appearance. The Aztecs, the first documented avocado eaters, dubbed the avocado tree ahuacuati, or testicle tree. If you’ve ever seen avocados growing, you know that the fruits dangle low, often in pairs resembling their namesake!

This reputation carried through time and cultures. In the 1920’s, an American avocado advertising campaign denied the aphrodisiac properties with the hope of tempting people to indulge in the forbidden fruit. The reverse psychology worked and Americans began nibbling the fruits of temptation in stealth. In 2001 the California Avocado Commission conducted a survey to investigate the folkloric history of the avocado’s aphrodisiac reputation. Findings released stated that 63% of those polled believed in the avocado’s aphrodisiac reputation.

Although the Aztecs may not have been equipped to explain it, modern science has given us insight into the fruit’s aphrodisiac reputation. We now know that avocados deliver a punch of nutrients essential to sexual health, including beta carotene, magnesium and vitamin E, (which is sometimes called the “sex vitamin“). An avocado also delivers more potassium than a raw banana. It even offers 2.4 grams of protein for every 1/2 cup of fruit, an essential ingredient for a successful late night tango.

Avocado is also excellent as a part of an all-natural beauty regime. According to the January 2001 issue of Prevention magazine, when it is applied topically, it adds shine to hair. The oil can be applied as a treatment for dry and irritated skin. In South Africa, it is mashed and mixed with honey and lime as a face mask and soothing after-sun treatment.

Avocados grow on trees but do not begin to ripen until picked. When selecting an avocado at the store, feel for heavy fruits with unbroken skin. Allow the fruit to ripen at room temperature and then store ripe fruit in the refrigerator.

Avocados are most often served raw. The fruit contains tannins, which can make it taste bitter when cooked. With their smooth texture and richness, they are best used as a garnish for salads, soups, grilled meats and as a base for dips and spreads. In some cultures, avocados are used in desserts, folded into ice cream, baked in batter or served with sugar and milk.”

These two luscious foods are HEALTHY, and make a great love-match in many delicious dishes.

They can be added as garnish to a main dish, add delectable nutrients atop a salad, be diced or mashed together with just a dash of lemon juice, salt, and pepper as a salsa like spread or dip….or my personal favorite….make these two tango in the spotlight…creating a loving romance of taste together….

The Tomato and Avocado Salad

Ingredients

· 1 teaspoon Dijon mustard

· 1/4 cup extra-virgin olive oil

· 1/2 cup balsamic vinegar

· 1 pinch ground black pepper

· 1 avocado - peeled, pitted and sliced

· 2 small tomatoes, each cut into 8 wedges

In a small bowl, whisk together the mustard, olive oil, balsamic vinegar and pepper. Arrange the slices of avocado and tomato alternately like the spokes of a wheel on one big serving plate, or individual plates. Drizzle lightly with the dressing, and serve immediately.

Remember this day celebrates Romance, Love, and Pleasure….with or without a partner…celebrate these amazing gifts that we get to enjoy….celebrate that you have them already, celebrate how excited you are that these amazing experiences still await you…feel the excitement and anticipation….and LOVE YOU….and find PLEASURE in the taste, texture, scent, feeling, and sound of the loving, sensuous world around you!

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Birthday Blahs...and Bliss....

2011-01-27T20:12:00.000-08:00

Several days ago I promised that my next blog would be about my birthday….the lessons, the celebration… the details…. That plan got derailed – physically and creatively – by a bad bout with migraines. ….and now ‘back to our regularly scheduled programming’….

All the lessons I learned and all the challenges I faced this past year all boiled down to one major headlining fact: BE MYSELF.

Those who are disinterested, those who do not care, those who are self-absorbed, those who are judgmental…..to all of them…no matter what you do to try and fit into the persona they want you to be….you will never please them, never make the grade, never gain their acceptance, approval, nor love.

Those who TRULY see you, who stand by you…they appreciate you for who you truly are….everyone else walks…runs…or merely fades away.

You gain nothing by trying to be someone you think you SHOULD be. In fact, you lose everything you hold dear…and most of all your own sanity…your very essence and soul…It is selling out for no return, no payoff, and worst of all these losses are caused by your own hand.

SO I vowed that from the beginning of 2011, and certainly from my birthday this year - I would be ME.

Love me or hate me….I will be ME.

Dreams being manifested, true self expressed….perhaps wisely filtered but certainly never diluted.

I would go to places I had always wanted to go to. I would try a few new things. I would certainly do things I have been putting off doing….always worried what others would think.

So fasten your seat belts….2011 is going to be a LOT of hard work….and quite a ride!

Ready? Here we go….

My First Tattoo:

I have always wanted a tattoo. An indelible expression of something I wanted to say….forever. After careful consideration, my various ideas solidified for my first ink, why I wanted it, and where it would be placed.

Over the past few years, as my tattoo plans took a serious, more pressing turn in my thinking, I knew I wanted my first ink to be done at High Voltage Tattoo (of LA Ink and Kat von D fame) here in West Hollywood.

On January 10 everything fell into place. I got off work early, I stopped in and there was an appointment available with one of the tattoo artists I had been eyeing to do my ink work... a gift made the necessary funds available….I had the courage to go for it….and it was a day when I very much needed to see that discomfort can indeed create something beautiful, worthwhile, and everlasting. For a little under an hour, Adam, my tattoo artist and I chatted as he worked his artistic wonder on my arm. The result was exactly what I had wanted.

I chose a triquetra for so many reasons that it is hard for me to explain why when people ask. It is a Celtic trinity knot. Of course there are the spiritual aspects of this symbol, which for me represents the three aspects of a woman – maiden, mother, and crone – all of which she is in differing proportions throughout her lifetime. It reminds me to nurture and honor each of those aspects within myself at all times. Another trinity that I keep conscious of at all times is the past, present, and future. Using the wisdom gained in the past, being aligned with my best choices and actions in the present, and creating the future I desire.

Also, now always discreetly with me, is my personal trinity….my personal Power of Three…my three children…

And yes, my love of Charmed!

I wear my priorities proudly on my arm, expressed aloud for all to see and I am ecstatic!

The Viper Room:

A landmark, a legendary locale….a place where one of our dearest friends performs and books other musical acts that I would love to see….and yet I had never been! Unlike the Mint where I can attend with my ‘under 21’ children, The Viper Room is 21+…..which left me having to brave it myself….which I never did. I don’t have friends at the ready to just go out with for drinks and music. I don’t have a hot date on speed dial to accompany me wherever my heart desires.

January 13 was going t o be different. Donovan Lyman was playing the Viper Room Lounge and for once I WAS GOING TO GO. It was his birthday performance and actually fell between his birthday and mine. As an added bonus another friend’s band was playing upstairs in The Viper Room….Soul 7. I HAD TO GO. Alone? Not an option! I took a deep breath, reconnected with an old friend and coworker, and we had a rare girls’ night out to catch up with each other, and enjoy some great music.

The Viper Room – both sections were smaller than I had imagined, the vibe very different than what I am used to at The Mint, but the ambiance of the longue, or maybe it was just listening to Donovan sing … made for a very enjoyable evening.

The Day – January 17 – My Birthday): I have to confess…I woke up cranky. I did not expect life to be smooth sailing, all caught up, stress free and blissful, BUT I DID hope that more would feel manageable, and that fewer demons would be mentally knocking at my door at least for this one day. I know – I could feel – that certain people – the ones who had caused me the most grief this past year – were of course remembering my birthday and thinking just thoughts just as vile and destructive as they had all year….probably much of my life. I could hear them. I could feel my energy and mental state take irrational, baseless plunges into dark, harmful spaces that I had already sanitized and refilled with hope and dreams. I spent most of my day pushing these dark thoughts and feelings aside. I went to work, same as always….no one knew it was my birthday. I’m too new in the office for anyone to have known and I was not in a cheery ‘share my special day’ mood at all. I was quickly going from cranky to pissy to highly agitated. Even the numerous Facebook and Twitter birthday wishes, which I appreciated SO much, did little to rally my spirits.

Then I came home. To my beautiful children. To the wonderful surprise they had put together for me.

A colorful Happy Birthday sign adorned the wall, a still warm, home baked brownie birthday cake decorated just for me, and gifts that were so perfect and so special….because of why they were chosen, because of who made them, because they expressed such love for me and how well my children know me.

Rivka made me the most precious heart shaped pillow from a tee shirt I never wore but loved the message emblazoned on it “Be Fearless”, and embroidered my name on the other side. It is sweet, it is powerful. It is cherished for always. Next to my precious pillow was a Snoopy. I LOVE Snoopy and here he was, my best friend ever holding a rose!

My talented son explained his gift was still in the creation stages….he gave me part of it…and then the rest a few days later. I was blown away. I am now the very proud owner of all the Disney Tarzan movies which he purchased for me AND (the best part) the full Tarzan and Jane animated tv series and movie which he acquired and made DVDs for me containing all the episodes and the movie. He custom labeled each DVD, got a special case that held the full series of DVDs, and made a meticulously professional DVD case cover, complete with episode menu on the back. Check out the picture below and see if you can detect his handiwork amongst the ‘professionally made’ covers! Bet you can’t! Why Tarzan? Well a favorite actor of mine, Michael T Weiss, voiced Tarzan on the series. It was a missing gem from my collection of his work. Now it means even more to me!

My youngest daughter Samantha knows well, both how quirky my taste is, as well as how much I want to piece by piece collect all the components of my dream kitchen. She gave me the most darling cast iron bake pan. I LOVE IT - and I love it so much I don’t want to ‘ruin it’ by using it…..but I will!

The joy I had sought all day was ready and waiting for me when I walked in the door.

Being a Monday evening, Samantha was working at The Mint that night. Our dear friend, and her boss – Donovan Lyman had been encouraging me to come out, enjoy some music, and a drink. Thinking back I am surprised he didn’t ask me specifically to stay HOME, as I was argumentative and whiney via Facebook as I explained life was too dreary and I was too broke to make it doable or enjoyable. Donovan can be very persuasive. I dropped Samantha off at work saying I would consider coming back later….I was still not sure….but the lure of The Mint, the music, my daughter, my friend….I went back and had a lovely time!

Thank you Sam – and thank you Donovan. You two are like the Dynamic Duo One-Two Punch of Persuasion.

All in all my birthday was a success…I have a job, I was with my amazing children, I have a few great friends, there was cake, gifts, a cocktail…or two, music….and the day was MINE…..nothing and no one can take that away from me!

Memories of a Migraine..,

2011-01-24T21:14:00.000-08:00

Nary a day goes by when I’m not on Twitter or Facebook, or at least checking my email – especially on the weekends. This weekend I did not touch my laptop or Blackberry until late Sunday. I wish I could say that I had exhibited extreme self control and spent quality time with my family, or writing, or some productive endeavor. Not hardly.

I felt it coming all week…was really feeling it on Friday night, but as of when I woke up Saturday morning I was hit HARD with my worst migraine EVER. I have a long history with migraines, but never has one gone on for so long (nearly two full days!) nor been so violent. Every symptom was magnified and multiplied beyond comprehension. Even my attempts to ‘sleep it off’ were disturbed as nightmares plagued me.

Clearly stress was having its way with me. I could push it down and aside for only so long but it WOULD be heard, loud and clear!

While this migraine was so far beyond scary and painful, that I considered calling 911….it brought to light some potentially life or at least sanity saving facts.

Both from a psychological as well as mystical point of view, dreams are far from arbitrary. They play out what is in our subconscious; that which we suppress when focusing on our day and conscious thoughts, as well as that which we have pushed so far aside, not wanting to deal with. Out of sight only SEEMS to be out of mind….or rather it can drive you there! Dreams are also believed to bring us messages, insights, warnings, and direction.

My head was exploding in pain, as images of people and events past and present came marching into my mental line of vision; The dreams actually waking me even as I lay there so exhausted and so in pain and desperate to sleep.

During the awake times, even through the pain, I gained understanding. I understood why those specific things….even those from way in the past….were coming to mind, virtually screaming ‘Deal with me! Deal with me!’.

All of us, regularly deal with things – especially the unpleasant ones – on so many levels and then file them away….but those files, even if stashed away in the recesses of our minds, those files grow too heavy to bear.

We can never forget events, experiences, or people. We deal just enough ‘to put it behind us’ and ‘move on’. Yet, that file still sits there like an unresolved cold case. The files pile up. They pinch a nerve, they spasm a muscle. They bring pain in one form or another until we pay attention. When we ignore the little twinges or even external reminders, they come to us louder and louder until they still our ability to look away and focus on anything else.

People often wonder if there isn’t just some way to throw away the files…to just empty the ‘recycle bin’ in our brain. Most of us figure that disposing of the issue…the file…would be easier than dealing with it …for lack of a better term…head on.

Take it from me….when you deal enough to manage the challenge that you face, but do not deal with all the connected feelings, emotional and mental repercussions…the issues linger until you do, and that is never at your own leisure. We can never forget our experiences but we can process them so that all we are filing away is the memory and discard - not just distance ourselves from - the associated pain. “Not dealing” sounds like a survivable option….but the weight, the effect, the pain that will resurface is in essence just giving those painful people and events power to harm us for the rest of our lives. If we have had the strength to walk through the fire, why would we still allow that pain to burn inside of us and slowly consume us?

The only way I know to truly slay these demons is to make silence in one's mind. To pull out each person or event and acknowledge ‘that happened, it wasn't right, it hurt/sucked/harmed me, but here is how I gained insight or strength from it, or even just survived it (which truly does mean gaining strength or insight) and I have moved past it so now the emotional baggage is released even if the memory remains in the files of my mind.’

It HAS to be acknowledged. Looked at – NOT relived – but looked at so you can see that you can let go of the pain because you are safely past it. Honor yourself by acknowledging what was unjust, harmful, or painful. Give yourself credit for the strength you possessed to get through it, for the lessons learned and wisdom gained…..and the let it go. It is truly like diffusing a bomb. Take away the harmful power it has and you have room to let the light in….to stockpile all the wonderful memories you WANT to have and are working so hard to create right here and now.

Sounds like a headache? Trust me it is the only REAL way to avoid one!

Singlehandedly Yours...

2011-01-24T07:28:00.000-08:00

I usually post my strictly parenting related blogs on ModernMom.com but many of you saw the link, wanted to read it, and because you weren't parents or for any other reason, did not want to join that site to give this a read. TOTALLY get that. I belong to more sites, with more sign ins and passwords than I care to think about. SO while I STRONGLY suggest ModernMom.com for EVERY parent - so much info, community, tips, and wonderful things there.....I will also be posting my 'Singlehanded' blogs here as well.....Enjoy

I've always done things on my own. An only child of preoccupied parents, I was left to entertain and care for myself for the vast majority of time. Always independent, always the lone ranger. You’d think that when the leg of my journey as a single mother came around, I’d easily adapt. Hmmm…..not so much.
I guess I actually DID. We have always had a roof over our heads, even when I was unemployed for months on end, and not receiving child support. We always had food on the table even when we weren’t eligible for assistance. We have stayed together as a family. My children all graduated high school early and as members of the honor societies. They have all begun…and in the case of my eldest …graduated college. They are close, loyal, loving, supportive of each other and of me.
Ok, so I guess I didn’t do too badly…..but it has been a VERY exhausting, lonely, challenging, and scary road.
All mothers are amazing beings. We multi task, we have versatile and varied skill sets that far exceed excellence in a given field, as we are prepared to be through our education and career paths. We do it ALL – it is as simple….and tiring as that!
SINGLE mothers have a totally different lot in life. They are not fully similar to mothers with partners, nor even to single fathers.
It is not ONLY having just a single set of hands to juggle all the myriad of tasks involved in parenting.
For me it was more the challenge of a single heart that bore all the heartache of decisions, scary times, and sadness that our children faced. A single heart that was desperate to share the happiness, the pride, the joy of parenthood. The challenge of a single mind – so many decisions, so many details to track…..it feels endless.
I am NOT complaining. Not at all. I have no regrets.
I just hope more people come to realize that not every single mom has family to rely on. They may have lost their friends in the divorce. They may be too busy to make new friends…bustling past neighbors with a smile and nod, arms full of groceries but no time to stop and chat; Too focused on work and then dashing home, to socialize with coworkers and colleagues. Not every single mom – actually MOST – do not have a co-parent who has the children some of the time, not even an occasional night or weekend, during which you can catch up on sleep, date, take a bath…..

So when someone shares that they are a single mom….don’t just say ‘aw that’s nice’….tell her she is amazing….and then buy the girl a cup of coffee. Trust me – she needs it!

Looking Backwards...and Forwards...

2011-01-20T16:35:00.000-08:00

Birthday.

For as much as everyone loves gifts and cake, birthdays are often more dreaded than anticipated. I have to admit since my mid-30s, my birthday has given me pause.

NOT THIS YEAR!

2010 was a tumultuous year for me. It started off with me feeling I was adequately on track, had a plan, and just needed to improve some of the logistics in my life. I was in for quite a surprise. Several actually. Slowly the pieces of my world began to break away – not crumble but abruptly break off and plummet down and out of sight into an abyss I was desperately trying not to be consumed by.

My job dissolved due to the economy; the position being combined with another so that the organization could financially stay afloat. As a single mom, living paycheck to paycheck, no child support, not eligible for unemployment (contract terms can be a tricky thing), nor government benefits (value of my 2005 Jeep, ages of my children and other arbitrary irrelevant factors that red tape snagged onto)……it was an instantaneous plunge into debt.

While job hunting, juggling creditors, and trying to stretch every bit of food in the pantry to last a bit longer, my personal life began to follow my professional life down the drain.

My mother and grandmother decided that it was an egregious act on my part to turn to them and ask for help. Their response was to share their true feelings about ‘family’ via impersonal email to my children and I. Seems over 40 years later my mother regrets having children and feels her life would have been more productive and fun without me in it, plus I aged her by bearing her grandchildren. My grandmother is in full agreement and requested we not be in touch with them anymore. Old issues surfaced, a legal situation was created where there was no need, just the desire to alienate and cause undue pain….As if my family tree being chopped down was not enough, I now had legal headaches as well.

Lest you think I still may have had an anchor left…someone or something to hang on to as I weathered these repeated storms….The love of my life, my best friend and ‘intended future’ of 10 plus years, decided he needed to withdraw….not just from me, but from life as a whole. He took leave from work, from me, from everyone and everything to contemplate his life. I get it. His job was insanely demanding, he had 5 children, property still tied up with their mother and her family….it would have made me crack long ago. He needed this respite from the day to day to sort it all out, make new plans, and make changes. His timing – for me – just sucked! True to form, I didn’t whine or wail at him…I applauded his courage, supported his choice, and sent him on his way with blessings….and hope he’d sort it all out sooner as opposed to later.

2010 was simply horrific….and a blessing in very deep disguise.

I hit rock bottom and found out just how jagged the edges are down there!

I lost – I learned – I stressed – I learned some more….but ENOUGH ALREADY!

I was way more than ready for 2010 to hit the road.

To me 2011 held promise, hope, and with my birthday in January it felt prime for new beginnings.

Stay tuned …in my next blog I share what I learned, what I did to celebrate and much much more…

Change of Plans...?

2011-01-18T13:04:00.000-08:00

Bored

Ignored

Ill at ease

Very not pleased

Using new tools

Living by rules

Just want this over and done

So tired of living under the gun

Just want to be free

To Live – to LIVE – as ME

Tried all I’ve known

Listened to every single solitary drone

All out of ideas

Just full of fears

Tired of the need to be saved

To this constant pattern – so very enslaved

I dream – I plan – it’s all for naught

Take one wrong step and got fiercely caught

What is the truth? What is a lie?

Who really decides who lives and who dies?

Invisible when I accomplish – Invisible when in need

From my own personal hell – I really need to be freed

So many shackles, so little time

So want my life to be stable and MINE

Always seems close but never is near

All that I feel, I see, I touch, is my fear

More people have left than I ever met

How can they just ignore, how can they forget?

As always it is up to me alone

To make my life, to make my home

New ideas, new thoughts, and maybe a new dream

My original plans are not so ‘destined’, it seems

Does my life truly need a whole new direction,

Or do my originals plans just need some correction.

Time may tell to those who wait

But for me....it's way too late

What I want - what I demand to be mine

Will no longer wait for the hands of time

It is not my dreams, nor is it my plans

It was simply abiding others' demands

Time - my life - has been so wasted

My goals, My dreams just barely tasted

Some may have tried but they cannot dissuade me

To be someone else, you can never persuade me

This is MY life - to me it was given

Now I will create - with purpose so driven

No more time, no more energy cast here and there

No more effort spent towards those who don't care.

My life

My words

My purpose

My plan

I'm after my dream....catch me....if you can...

Into the Fire...

2010-11-01T10:25:00.000-07:00

The past several months have been one challenge, one trial after another. It hasn’t even gotten to the point yet where it is ‘an uphill climb’.

I don’t think I have ever breathed less, stressed more, been left or betrayed by more people than I would have sworn I even knew….While I successfully coached several people to success in their lives during this time, mine was falling apart piece by piece. It has been, and as of this moment still is….hellish.

The job derailed. I saw the lessons learned, and stepped forward confident things would regain stability in record time. Didn’t happen.

The part time job ran amuck and ended. I still was sure I saw the lesson and understood.

My existing clients were happier than ever, my websites went up, advertising ran rampant, and yet no new sales or clients. That had to defy even statistics.

Family proved that blood may be thicker than water but it can also be far more toxic and contaminated.

Friends, the few that I had trusted and chosen to be part of my day to day life seemed to choose between disinterest, betrayal, or dramatic nasty departure. Had I changed, done anything? Nope. The response was unanimous….to quote a favorite TV show of mine, it was simply, ‘because I exist’.

It really was like a Twilight Zone experience. As if it all looked the same, as if I knew everyone but no one knew me or even saw me.

The depth of fear from which desperation is born is an ugly and fairly stupid place. As all of this spiraled down and out, I made a bad decisions which of course created more difficulties and stress, especially when I seemed to be isolated and standing alone.

When you are TRULY facing losing what means most to you, your priorities, which have perhaps always been clear, suddenly are not just priorities – they are the ONLY things that matter.

We all make mistakes. We all face life changing events and experiences. This all happens because we have lessons to learn, wisdom to gain….and if we don’t grasp it when it first floats past us, the next time, the lesson bumps into us, and then the next time it SHOVES us, and then if we still haven’t come out of our egos, come out of our fears, come out of our denial and learned the lesson, then the next time it comes by it knocks you down and begins to stomp on you.

NO I am not saying life is harsh, nor that pain and trial and tribulation is necessary, nor a foregone conclusion in everyone’s life.

What I AM saying is…no matter how old a soul we are, no matter how book-smart, street-smart, wise, well-read, brilliant, clever, calculating, nor even intuitive that any of us are….we ALL have lessons to learn….that is why we are here.

The more open to learning these lessons, gaining new wisdom, the easier life is. The less knocks upside the head! The less pain, the less strife, the less stress and defensive posturing we all take to resist anything or anyone that shows us there may be more than we already know. A lot of the time it is not ego….it is more so fear…we usually feel we have a tenuous grip at best on having control in our lives, adding to what we know, what we must factor in and consider is too overwhelming, and we have an automatic resistance to it.

We have all been burned – by people, by experiences, by life. We can either scar, harden, and not learn a darn thing until our whole life goes up in flames OR we can see the LIGHT of the fire, and albeit with caution (think of emotional oven mitts or pot holders) we reach out and learn the lessons….sans burn.

At this very moment, breathing – the full lung full of air variety, is still a struggle for me. I do not how my current situation will all work out, or even the road I will be taking to get it worked out.

I just know that it will. That isn’t being positive per se. It is being realistic. The reason what does not kill us, makes us stronger is because we LEARN…..so then we are stronger.

I have children who need me, and miraculously love me….I have (as I have come to see) people who care about me, I have clients who are happy that I am around to assist them on their path through life….I have LIFE….and it is not here to get the best of me….it is here for me to gain the best of IT.

Please remind me of that when I grow weary and forget….for THAT is why we need friends and love in our lives.

Much love and gratitude to you all.

Remind Me Again....The Purpose Is...

2010-08-01T15:11:00.000-07:00

Two years ago today. That is all. Two short years.

So why does it feel like more than double that? Why did it age me 10 years in what was really just two?

Over the past few weeks (maybe even months) you have read my tweets that indicated all was not well. Some tweets were clear that it was about work, some were more general statements – those were probably on the days when the rest of life decided to play ‘for the other guys’ and against me.

(No that is NOT how life works – just feels that way some days)

SO…it was two short years ago today, August 1 that I started a part time job (as supplement to the rest of life)…supposedly for maximum 20 hours a week, doing simple clerical tasks. It should have been easy, light work.

Being who I am, doing things the way I do them, I couldn’t just make bank deposits for work, while knowing that my predecessor had not been inputting financial data properly. I won’t bore you with all the details, just suffice it to say that I came in, cleaned up many a mess, created systems, and got them fully on track. They were only a very tiny non-profit organization, so they figured they could just fly by the seat of their pants, and not be professional. I don’t know how to be anything BUT professional, so…they were brought up to par in no time. Within 4 months, I was promoted to full time – the only full time employee they had. By the end of the first year, I was Executive Director. I did their accounting, marketing, purchasing, payroll, advertising, event planning, etc etc etc. Sounds like a lot of hard work but still a dream come true? Yes. And No.

There was a lot that was wonderful about the job. A lot that I learned, about myself and others. A lot of fulfillment from helping others, and creating a real community.

There was also intense and insane quantity and quality of personnel issues. It’s as if the organization was a magnet for high maintenance employees. There were budgetary issue which made the organization, including my job, very unstable and unreliable. The vacillating between today there is a job, tomorrow there isn’t, the day after there might be…..was unsettling and stressful to put it mildly.

In the past several months they brought a member of clergy on board. She knew that the board held the misconception that with clergy on their staff, they would attract more members; that in effect she was their key to success. She demanded more and more money, until they told me that there was not room in the budget for both her salary and mine, and that they felt that now that I had it all so professionally and smoothly running, they could get a handful of volunteers to take on segments of my position, and save themselves the cost of a director.

There were even more details regarding my last check etc. that have since gotten somewhat sorted out, but the bottom line was and is, that my full time job vanished. Evaporated overnight.

Yes, I also have a part time job, as well as an online shop, writing projects, and my growing Life Coaching practice, but still….the ‘guaranteed’ paycheck was needed as the main course of all that is on my plate. NO ONE can afford to just lose a job and not have it affect them. Certainly as a single mom of 3 children, 6 cats, and 3 parakeets….losing my job was…IS….distressing!

You will keep hearing me say – because I believe & know it to be true – that everything happens for a reason, that nothing is arbitrary. This experience is no exception.

There were two MAJOR lessons…realities …that I KNEW but also needed to act in accordance with.

Who was I kidding? A ‘guaranteed paycheck’. Really now?!?! HA! I know better, and yet I fell into the typical rut of desperate belief that our prosperity, our very existence is dependent on any source besides our own applied energy. Whether your means of applying energy towards a desired goal is prayer, lighting a candle, casting a spell….applying energy and intention and action towards a goal is the only way it manifests and becomes a reliable reality. It is US that need be consistent. Outside forces will change and sway, so the WAY in which our goal manifests may be different than what our limited human conscience had initially envisioned, but it WILL happen if we consistently do what WE must.

Reminding myself of this – that my income flow was not cut off, unless I stopped applying myself to this desired outcome; That the flow did not stop, just the source of the current – THAT refocus kept me from panicking as well as brought me to my next reminder.

We MUST live our destiny. We MUST do what we are meant to do. A recurring pattern for me in my life was the ‘necessary’ jobs, being a mess when I arrived, I would help get them on track, and then for one reason or another, all hell would break loose, and it would be time for me to move on. WHY was I constantly going through this same hellish pattern? Because I was not (fully) doing what I was meant to. I know what my truest gifts are, what my purpose is, what I am meant to do. I have always utilized these gifts in a partial way….for personal application, or at most as the source/cause of a supplemental income. I had not, as of yet had faith that following my dreams, and living my purpose would fully sustain me and my loved ones.

SO…As I bask in the last few hours that I allowed myself to revel in the relief of being free of that place, I have also started creating my new ventures. I am upgrading my online shop, as well as making my site which will contain my writing services, written works and a LOT more… stay tuned.

If you want to be sure to do something then you do the necessary actions ON PURPOSE. The same rule applies on the largest scale of all: If you want to HAVE the life you want then LIVE ON PURPOSE. Deliberately …as well as living our destined purpose.

Oops, I did it again....

2010-07-24T16:14:00.000-07:00

So much has happened in the past couple of weeks. I feel a bit like I am spinning and a bit like I am stuck in a deep rut waiting for the tornado to stop whirring overhead. Either way or a mixture of both, to say that I felt thrown off track is an understatement of huge proportion. At times I felt like I was being catapulted forward in life, and at others I felt like I was being sucked back to some very dark, dismal times in my life that I was, in my heart, ‘so totally OVER’.

Here’s the thing about push & pull….If you just sway each direction, and not fall forward nor back, if you get a reminder of a lesson from the past, or a glimpse of what the future could be, and take those to help you balance yourself, and to have all the tools needed to pave the road you have now chosen to be on, then it has been worth it.

Storms aren’t necessarily a bad thing. A heavy storm can break the humidity, giving all that pent up moisture in the air some true release and the rest of us some relief. Even Dorothy found insight on her tumultuous tornado driven trip to Oz. She returned home – i.e. returned to her core self – with a deeper understanding and appreciation for her life and those in it.

Don’t get me wrong, I would much rather have learned my lessons, been reminded of past lessons supposedly learned, in a much kinder and gentler manner. I would say I could have done without the drama, pain, fear, and angst that I had instead, but clearly I could NOT have done without it. Clearly, I was so tunnel vision focused on where I was headed and how I thought I was getting there, that subtler hints and reminders were lost on me and I needed the big knock upside my head.

I share this to point out that we all see our hard times as pain…emotional pain, inconvenient pain in the a___, or the like. Pain – physical pain – is not automatically caused by the wound received – it is actually an added component specifically designed to draw our attention to a wound or ailment to force us to tend to it, to heal it by whatever means necessary. Same too with emotional pain. It hurts as an incentive to us – we want it to stop hurting, so we must determine what it would take to make this pain go away, to never return. By the time pain comes to wake us up, get our attention, we can in retrospect say – as we all often do – “I should have seen this coming”, “the signs were all there”. Of course they were! Life, the Universe, the Divine (by whatever name you call it or just by whatever force you feel keeps this world a’turnin’) is NOT – I repeat – NOT out to hurt us or harm us. Pain comes as a wakeup call. Pain and trauma, and devastation come to large groups of people to wake up global human conscience. If we would only be paying attention, not getting distracted by what is easier, not hiding from what seems harder, think of how much suffering we could all avoid and save others from.

I’m not kidding – what we as individuals choose to ignore in life – causes painful effects for others. On a smaller scale than the world at large, if I, as a parent fall on hard times due to lessons I need to learn and avoided until hardships woke me up, it affects my children both in atmosphere in our home, maintaining our very home itself, etc. Anything that is true on a small scale is true on a larger scale (globally) as well.

So, I complete this short sojourn into ‘lesson reminder land’ and move forward having hopefully been adequately reminded of what I learned so long ago, as well as determined to keep cognizant of what I have already mastered so as not to revisit old territory again, especially when it is painful. Staying fully aware at all times may sound tedious to some, like a lot of effort, no down time to relax or enjoy life. I say : “NOT SO”. First, remember if we lose awareness of what we have learned, no matter how relaxed, successful, or ‘having fun’ we may feel, we will be pulled away from those feelings and tossed back into a place where we can regain awareness of our needed lessons. ALSO, and perhaps more the carrot versus the stick reason for staying cognizant: If we are not fully aware in the moment, then we miss that moment. If we shut down any of our senses, our mind, our hearts at any given point in time, happy times or sad times alike, we do not feel, we do not experience, we do not LIVE.

Nothing is arbitrary. Everything happens in our lives when and how it is supposed to. If something negative happens it is to get our attention and show us something we need to know. Perhaps, for some of us, we are taken to places of pain, hardship, and trial, so that we can feel it deeply, and express it to others through our art be it the written word, music, dance, acted out experience, or art hung on a wall or sculpted in multi dimensions. Perhaps we are here to help others fully feel their needed experiences through our art, to make them understand they are not alone, to give their feelings a voice when they cannot. We are not just being used as artistic modes of communication and experience for others, but for US, it is part of our growth, our destiny, our purpose to help others, give to others, and by so doing sure we help them, but we become more of who WE are as well in the process. Nothing is arbitrary. It is always for a reason. It is always a gift…sometimes wrapped with a shiny bow, sometimes in a plain brown mundane wrapper, and sometimes in the nastiest dirtiest smelliest materials around. Judging a life experience by its cover so to speak, and assuming it is potentially as distasteful an experience or lesson, as its presentation seems to be, is a huge mistake.

I urge you all, as I remind myself – Stay aware. Embrace each moment and experience as being for you not against you. Feel. Express. LIVE

©Nadia Romanov 2010 7-24-2010

My Very Own - Declaration of Independence

2010-07-04T15:42:00.000-07:00

Fourth of July….The date evokes images of fireworks, flags, picnics, BBQ, family & friends gathered in the yard…..all in celebration of Independence Day here in America.

Independence …..Freedom….the concepts are very intertwined, especially on this day, but are truly two very different things.

Freedom is essentially the unhindered, unencumbered space in which to be free – to do as you want. There are always boundaries in life. In a free country we still have laws. “Free to move about the cabin” while in flight still confines you in the airplane cabin. Boundaries notwithstanding, freedom gives you a greater range of motion, an option of choice.

Now – what will you do with it?

Will you just party hardy and feel the euphoria of being unencumbered? Think Tom Cruise in Risky Business dancing and singing around the house in his underwear when his parents left him home alone….free.

OR will you utilize the lack of restraint and restriction…to create, to become YOU without the mandates of others? Will you make yourself independent?

Freedom is a gift – a blessing – sometimes just granted, and sometimes hard earned and yet not guaranteed for your efforts. Think the Revolutionary War….best efforts put forward for freedom and yet no guaranteed freedom, just a blessing that those efforts were rewarded with the desired goal and outcome.

Independence is a choice. It requires choosing to use your freedom to become independent, self sustaining, as well as authentic. It is created by your choice, commitment, and unwavering follow through.

Freedom is an atmosphere – a condition.

Independence is a state of being – a state of mind, a course of action.

Ten years ago today, my children and I left my ex, just a few weeks shy of our tenth anniversary. It has been a decade of many changes, lots of growth, some seriously low valleys and some extraordinarily high peaks. All of it has been a blessing, just sometimes better disguised than at others.

Freedom occurred in stages, the first of which was actually weeks prior when the decision and plans to leave were first made.

Independence was a far greater challenge. It was and still is a choice – a daily – often moment by moment choice.

One thing that I learned early on was that you cannot stand on your own two feet if you do not acknowledge and embrace your authentic self. How can you expect to build an independent life, if you are not in touch with who you are, your desires, needs, capabilities, beliefs, mission in life, what makes you tick, what motivates you?

So today, on Independence Day, I urge you to truly become independent.

Know who you are and decide what you want. Then commit to MAKE IT HAPPEN. Be it material items you want to acquire (new car, house), a goal you wish to manifest (better credit rating, more fit physique, better sleep habits), a professional achievement you are determined to reach…..WHATEVER IT IS…. It can NOT happen unless you decide it is what you want – that it matters to you enough to work hard, to stay fully focused 24/7, to turn away from doubt.

Know your truth. Commit to living it…or else you are not truly living at all.

Every year on July 4 I light candles that look patriotic but hold special significance based on the meaning of their color. Red for the fire like courage it takes to blaze your own trail. White for protection and blessing of what I have created for my family. Blue for the peacefulness & inner tranquility I have found.

Happy July 4th!!!

The Time Has Come....

2010-07-04T11:43:00.000-07:00

As you can see, I started this blog a while back. I intended to write weekly. I'm a writer after all, so it should be simple as pie to whip out a blog.

It is...when you know what you want to say.

Oh don't get me wrong I have a gazillion thoughts spinning round and round in my head and I have many fully written pieces ready to publish, but there was always the reluctance to post... What topics do I post about? Should my blog have a theme? Was a certain date more astrologically or metaphysically more auspicious a launch time? I was VERY busy overcomplicating it, all simply to avoid posting.

Why?

Because I had yet to accept my own work. I had found my voice, I just didn’t always want to hear it. I have always been very self aware, have always known my own mind. That is all still a long road to the destination of self acceptance, especially to the level of sharing with others.

Today is July 4. Independence Day. As you will read in posts to come, this date is a personal anniversary of mine. It holds deep lessons, memories, and even a few battle scars.

Today is the time - that I practice what I preach, that I live as I believe, and that I accept my own work, my own voice as 'presentable'. Gone are the days of being so efficient a writer that I pen my own mental rejection letters.

I'm getting out of my own way....I'm walking my talk....or in this case writing it....

Join me?

Signs of Change

2010-02-21T09:05:00.000-08:00

Ellie Drake, Host of of BraveHearTView, shared the following list of indicators of inner change...I think you will find this list explains a lot of what has been happening within and you will find peace and purpose in knowing it is all signs and steps of positive change.

Are you changing?

Here are 10 signs that real inner change has begun!

If you are experiencing 7 of the 10 signs of change,then you are evolving into a new you!

Read further to see if you are, or becoming Inspiration In Action…

1. Growing craving for nature. When you connect with yourself, do you inherently crave to be with nature?

2. Growing discomfort. If you feel uneasiness at a soul level, this indicates the rubber band of your being is stretching and some old beliefs are beginning to shatter.

3. Growing sense of loneliness. The journey of personal growth is often a solo journey; do you feel lonely during this journey?

4. New skills are emerging you didn’t know you had. Perhaps you are beginning to realize natural skills within you that you might have taken for granted in the past.

5. New relationship with time. Instead of psychological time, which is worrying about past or future, you now enter “clock time”, which is the type of time that's related to mental tasks vs. emotional insecurities.

6. No longer crave for the old bad ways of life. Some of your old habits are not making sense to you anymore.

7. New sense of SELF responsibility. The depression and exhaustion you used to feel is becoming a variable that you feel you DO have control over. Your sense of SELF responsibility has risen.

8. Growing awareness of purpose. You have a rising sense of curiosity about your purpose here, and you find yourself thinking about your service to humanity more and more often.

9. More understanding of past events. You feel like everything that happened in the past 'should' have happened and you realize it has a meaning and purpose in getting you to where you are today.

10. Growing awareness of inner manifestation. Instead of praying for the manifestation of external “variables that you don't have control over”, you begin to see that your energy is better invested when you “shift” inner variables that you do have control over.

If you resonated with seven of the above ten signs and they are happening right now for you, then change has begun!